My New Guitar

Hi All!

So today I figured I'd go with a light hearted topic. Just wanted to rave and show off my new guitar. I got it for a steal on eBay and I am selling one of my other guitars to cover the cost. The guitar is a Hamer Standard, and it is pretty much the same as the ones that Tom Dumont of No Doubt plays. Well, except that it's made in Korea and not the U.S. And it has Hamer made pickups instead of Seymour Duncans. AND that it's made of alder and not mahogany. . . .

Anyway, it LOOKS and SOUNDS like that one that Tom plays, and that's what matters for a tribute band. I'll probably swap out the pickups for real Seymour Duncans and I am thinking about having Jay's friend, who painted his bass drum head, paint our Excuse Me Symbol on the big wing. (Look back at pics from our B.B. King's gig.) I am also toying with checkerboarding the pickguard.

Here are some pics from a Nov. 18th gig in Hoboken. I had a wicked sore throat and was in intense pain through out the gig. (I probably had strep, but stupid me didn't make it to the doctor's.) I think in one of the pictures you can see the bag of cough drops by the amp.


Oh yeah, we're rocking now! (P.S. Thanks Mom for the the guitar strap!!)


I am looking at my cousin, his girlfriend, and their friends as they drunkenly shout out my name.



No, that isn't a wedding band on my left hand. It's a guitar slide/ring that I use during the solo of "Sunday Morning."



Thanks Dad for the strong cheekbones and jaw-line.



You can see the exhaustion in my eyes. I really was too sick to play this gig. See the bag of cough drops?

Post T-Day Post

Wow, it feels good to be missed. Thanks, Binsk! Hi everyone, I'm back in NY after a holiday trip to NC. Let me tell, I am not doing that Thanksgiving drive on Wednesday for a long time or on Sunday for that matter. What should have been a 9.5 hour drive turned into a 12 hour pain in the ass trip. Sunday was a little better at 10.5 hours. Insane traffic, nutso weather, and Spider tired at the wheel does not make for a happy trip.

Overall, it was a good trip. My sister, Katie, and I had Thanksgiving dinner with her boyfriend's family then went and did dessert later that night at her best friend's family's house. I love Thanksgiving in the South. Stuffing becomes dressing, collard greens are served, and sweet tea is available in abundance.

(Side note: The Xmas/Holiday season is not supposed to start until the day after Thanksgiving. It's beginning is signaled by Santa Claus at the end of the Macy's Parade. It bugs me to no end how the retail world pushes it sooner and sooner every year! I was hearing Xmas music as early at Nov. 13th. What gives with that! Hell, next year I expect the marketing to start well before Halloween. End Side Note.)


It was good to spend time with Katie. Don't know when I'll get to see her again as she'll be very busy working her now 3 part time jobs (because no full time jobs that actually pay well have responded to her resumes). She's going through a real stressful time and it isn't going to end any time soon. We talked quite a bit and got to see the movie RENT. Both of us cried! I'll be writing about the movie later in the week.

Also, I got a chance to spend time with my best friend, KRSONE. He hasn't commented here in a while. He just moved into his first house, so I helped him paint a room and move stuff from his apartment. His parents also come down to visit so it was the first time I saw them in at least 3 years. His dad is like a second father and it was so good to catch up.

And that's all I got at the moment folks. Yesterday was a really busy day, today and tomorrow promises to be more of the same. I am finishing up a long piece of writing, so it probably won't be until Thursday that I get my next post up. (The one about RENT.) At the same time I have to learn a few new songs for band practice, and I am trying to finish some new ones that I wrote.

But I'm back, and I'll be around.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

This will be a short post. I leave this afternoon to drive down to NC to spend Turkey Day with my sister, Katie. I know it will be a hellish drive, but it will be worth it to spend time with her.

I won’t be able to post while I’m gone, but I will be writing. So expect stuff from me on Monday. Hopefully, some will be some deep posts as I explore another part of myself. (And Ewww! Not that part! Get you minds out of the gutter.) Recent deep thinking has caused me to realize some things about myself and why I do the things I do the way I do them. Don’t know how I will share it just yet. It maybe in the form of lyrics, or my usually long-winded writing where I make reference to many different things. (But at least I cite my sources.)

Soooooo, whatever you are doing this holiday weekend, I wish you and yours the best and safest time!!

Namaste,
Spider

"I Know We're Cool. . ."

So today I just wanted to say that I love my ex-girlfriend. We have hung out recently and I am really happy about how we have progressed as friends. A couple of weekends ago I was having a stressful time and she and I got together. I needed to talk with someone who knew me. Most of my closest friends were out of state.

She and I went out to dinner, stopping at the mall before hand, and then came back to my apartment for coffee. It was the first time she saw the new place. Actually, she didn’t get to see my old place, but we weren’t at that "place" yet. It was a great evening, we talked, we laughed and I felt better about things.

We’re actually able to joke about our relationship. For example, she did something mildly stupid and said, “$%&# Me!” (She cusses a bit. A New Yorker.) Then she looked at me and said, “Don’t you make joke about that!” I laughed because with any other girl my instant reply would have been, “Yes, please!” But we both laughed because I was like, “Um, didn’t we already do that?” On the otherhand I can joke about the "adoring women fans" at my gigs and she'd be like, "Ladies, I already had him and he ain't nothing special!" or something to that effect.

I think the part of the night that touched me was when she said that there was this Gwen Stefani song on the radio that she heard that made her think of me. I hadn’t heard it because I don’t listen to the radio. And I’m not really that big of a Gwen fan. (Which is semi-ironic for someone in a No Doubt tribute band.) The song is name “Cool” and it’s lyrics talk about old lovers who have moved on and become friends.

“And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain”

I haven’t heard the music, but the words were enough to send their meaning.

Saturday night, we were at a friend’s apartment for an early Thanksgiving dinner. When it came time for coffee I said I’ll have tea, because of my throat, and that I brought some French Vanilla tea for myself. I also had extra Vanilla Chai tea to share with my ex-girlfriend. She laughed because she brought tea for me also, French Vanilla and Vanilla Caramel. Still on similar wavelengths.

Within ten minutes of hanging out with her I can see all the reasons we broke up. But with the distance of time I can appreciate all the good things that were there and still are. I can be thankful of my time with her and say that I love her. Not the kind of love that I want to get back together with her, but the kind that says I’m glad she’s my friend. I’ll probably not find another friend who will know me on the level that she does, so it’ll be wise to hang on to her. It feels good to be at this place.

Da..da...da. . .

It's a Sunday night, I'm in pajamas, and have been all day, and I have no clue what to write about. There is much going on in my head, there always is, but I don't know what to feel like write about. I'm recovering from a bad sore throat. I practically lost my voice after a gig on Friday night. On Saturday, a friend said I sounded like Barry White. I swear it dropped my voice two octaves.


My sports fan friend, with whom I am on the phone right now, just said one of the stupidest things ever. "I don't know what I would rather do on a Sunday, have sex with a hot girl or watch the football games." Like that needs to be a choice!!! He then goes, "Maybe I'll get lucky and find a girl who will like both as much as I do. We'll have the tv on in bedroom." He's had football on his tv today for twelve hours!! I'm so glad I don't like sports. More time for sex.


Oh well, ethical wombat. It's time to go to bed for me. Hopefully some rest will get my brain to work correctly.

Moving, Sleeping with your Best Friend, & Home Revisted Again.

The origins of this post started back in May with the bulk being written in June and July. I was trying to find the right time to post it and it just got put on the back burner. The reason I am dragging it out now is because my friend, SweetAmberNYC made reference to some of my early posts where I wrote about the concept of home. (Look in the February Archives.)

SweetAmberNYC is a Brooklyn girl through and through. But she recently moved to the Bronx to find a new apartment with her new boyfriend. This is what she wrote:

“Going back to calling a place like Brooklyn my home brings me back to an old Blog my friend Spider once wrote. In the Blog he questioned whether home is a place or a feeling. I think it can be a combination of both, but I digress. Rather than rehash his entire thought on the definition of home, I'll say this: home is where the heart is, and although I love Brooklyn dearly and my heart will always be there I found out I have a new home. It is with Anthony. Home, no matter what the Borough or neighborhood, is where he is.”

This reminds me of why I had started writing this post back in May. I wrote it with the intention being about my sister Katie and her new boyfriend. They had been best friends for two years before the started dating. Actually, we talked about it on Friday May 27th about an hour after I had just gotten checked out by a midget. (You remember that post right?) I had just picked up Uh-Oh by Robert Fulghum, and I shared with Katie an essay about home and dating your best friend. Here is what he wrote:

"How Will I know when to get married or even if I should get married?"

A question asked of me by a former student who has been living with a man for three years. Their romance began in college and kept right on going through graduate school and into the "real" world of jobs and setting up housekeeping. Marriage was not in their plans because as long as things worked out just living together and taking life one day at a time, why should they mess with a good thing? But she’s twenty-seven now. "And. . .well. . .you know. . ." she says, shrugging with eyebrows raised in that gesture people use when words can’t get at exactly what’s on their minds.

Well, I do know, as a matter of fact. One of the long-term benefits of having taught school is the ongoing relationship with people who come along behind me going through all the stages of growing older. And I’ve had this conversation before. Quite a few befores, actually.

Here’s Fulghum’s Formula for Marriage Testing, as passed on to my young friend:

"Heather, give me your first gut reaction to three questions." She’s ready.

"First, if I asked you to take me and introduce me to the person you’ve known at least five years and think of as your closest friend in all the world, who would it be?"

Her eyes answer. "Him."

"Second, if I asked you to take me to where ‘home’ is for you, where would it be?"

Her eyes answer. "Wherever he is."

"Third, do you ever lie in bed at night with him, cuddled up spoon fashion, your backside to his front-side and his arms around you and neither one of you is thinking of sex; instead you are thinking how content you are just being there like that - at home with your closest friend who just happens to be the man you love?"

Quiet. She was in tears. "How did you know?"

Well, for one thing, I have a home of my own.

And I told her that if he feels the same way, they’re married and just don’t know it yet. I pronounced them husband and wife right there.


Katie said that he got how she felt right on. I wonder if SweetAmberNYC would feel the same about Anthony. Knowing her, I am sure she does, though they haven’t been friends for five years yet.

I hope Katie’s boyfriend is able to stick with her. I say this because Katie’s in a world of crap right now and her boyfriend is probably the only shining light. I won’t deny that a lot, if not most, of my sister’s drama is by her creation, however there are forces outside her control that have dealt her a very crappy hand.

Of course, the big part of the game of life is how you play your cards, no so much what you’re dealt. I think Katie needs to play very hard and smart for the next few years, and when the next draw comes around, which it will, toss out some cards for new ones. Though when that times comes I hope she’s smart enough not to toss away her boyfriend. That’s one card she needs to keep to her chest.

And that’s a lot for her big brother to say.

As for how Robert Fulghum’s story relates to her older brother. . .well, I’m not going to share right now. I know I have been really open and honest about my feelings and life’s journey in the blog, and you all have come to expect that from me, but for now that’s a card I’m playing to my chest.

A Brief Nugget of Wisdom

"My belief, nay, my knowledge of your divinity is independent of your own disbelief in it!"

-Spoken to a friend at approxiamately 4:00am last week. Sometimes I come up with a good tidbit. A lot of what I come up with is crap, but every now and then a good nugget comes out.

Ode to Allegra-D

Oh, Allegra,

OH, Allegra!

OH, ALLEGRA!!

How I love you,
How I love how you make me feel!
My head may be overflowing with rivers of turbulent mucous,
My sinuses bursting from the pressure within,
But you take all that away.

Like a divine saviour, the mounted white knight, you rescue me where others have failed.

Claritin was weak and could not succeed, nor could Chlortrimeton.

My love for you shall be eternal, like the ocean for the sand.

36 Hours in the Life of a Rock Star Dreamer (Part Deux)

(If you are just joining us, scroll down and read Part 1.) (Click on any of the pictures to enlarge them.)

9:20 PM - With my coat and jacket in hand, I make it to the club, get my VIP pass and enter the club. . . And Bone Thugs N Harmony are well into their set. Yeah, B.B. Kings booked two shows that night. Bones at 8 and us at 11:30. One of the managers escorts Mike, the keyboard player, and I around the crowd and into the back towards our dressing room. As we enter the glorified closet that is our dressing room we hear the crowd sing with Bones Thugs N Harmony "Nigga, Nigga. . . Nigga!"

Joy.

9:25PM - Nicole is the dressing room with her two sisters. Her older sister, whose name escapes me at the moment but is an incredibly nice woman, is a hair dresser and helping Nicole get ready with her hair and makeup. Jasmine is there, Jay and Mike, and one of our biggest and coolest fans, Laura. Laura and Alex, Nicole's younger sister, will be singing back up for us during one of our songs during the acoustic set. Keyboard Mike was out in the hall trying to work through some confusion over the backstage pass for his girlfriend.

While getting her hair done, Nicole was being her usually stressed out diva self (and I say that in the most loving of ways). Everyone was excited to be there and we chated away as we ordered food.

(On a side note: B.B.'s didn't have the AC on in our dressing room so it was uncomfortably warm.)

9:30-10:00PM - Jay and I were in and out of the dressing room. Besides the heat, there was quite a bit of estrogen in there. Also, jay nened to put on the Excuse Me drum head on his bass drum.

We're able to hear B,T,&H's music clearly in the back hall and dressing room. The crowd sings along loudly as they cover that classic rap anthem, "Fuck the Police!"

10:005PM - B,T,&H are still on stage. I'm getting a tad nervous as we were supposed to be sound checking by now. But I'm not surprised, I've rarely played a gig that ran on time. 10:10PM - Nicole is still in make-up mode her sister are going through the large amount of clothes that Nicole brought. I'm all for outfit changes during a show, but part of me is thinking, "Gah! (to quote my Canadian friends) She'll stand there with a closet, full of options saying, 'Ohmigod! There's nothing for me to wear!' "

It's times like those that I am glad I'm a man. How many outfits did I bring? One.
(Plus a dry shirt to change into after the show.) And if this wasn't a No Doubt tribute band, I may have gone topless.







10:30-45PM - B,T,&H are finally off the stage and we start getting stuff ready. Drums are setup first, then bass and guitar, followed by keyboards. Vocals are last. Soundcheck goes well, and I really like the Sound-man, Stage Manager and Monitor Mixer. I have found that it is key to be friendly to these people. They control how you sound. Plus, when you need to ask for something, honey works better than vinegar.





11:15PM - We finish soundcheck. I think Nicole still had curlers in her hair. We practice the song "Bathwater because we're going to have 3 dancers performing with us. (No, that is not me in the background of that picture checking out the dancers' asses!)

Right after we finish soundcheck, the doors open and our fans, No Doubt fans and Gwen fans enter. Jasmine goes to the work with the Soundman to set up a photo slideshow that will be played later.



11:20PM-12:00AM - This is the time I spend warming up my hands and body. I have learned that I need at least 30 minutes of guitar warms ups before a show so my hands will be where I need them. I don't want the first 2-3 songs of the set to be the warm-up. Also, with my Carpal Tunnel Syndrome I have learned that I have to give some time to massage and stretching my arms. (Know I really don't have anymore pain. When I do, I know how to massage it out.)

And moreso with this band than any other I have been with, I have to stretch my legs. We do a LOT of dancing and jumping around.

12:02AM - We hit the stage, in front of a really good size crowd for a Tuesday night (400 people). I do my last ritual before playing, which is to take off my watch and place on the same place on my amp that I always do. Jay kicks off into the beat and we rock into "Hella Good."

12:02AM-1:30AM - The show flys by!! And with the exceptions of a few mistakes that I made, it's ranks so close to the top of my list of best shows I've done. (My senior recital, April 5, 1997 at Greensboro College still is number 1.) Rather that try to write about the show, I'll just include the set list and some pictures.

Hella Good
SundayMorning
Ex-Girlfriend
Happy Now?
Different People
Total Hate
Just a Girl
Underneath It All
New
Bathwater (with dancers)
Hey Baby (with dancers, and Brick Mason to do the rap part)
Simple Kind of Life (Acoustic)










Running (Acoustic with, back up singers)








It's My Life
What You Waiting For?

Encore
Spiderwebs
Don't Speak
Excuse Me!!

1:35AM -The show ends, the crowd goes nuts like they have been doing the entire night. We take a few minutes before packing up to talk to our friends and new fans. What a night!! I had some random Oriental Girl from France come up and tell me, in an accent I couldn't understand, how she thought I was so cute and that she wanted to take me home. Her French guy friends proceeded to tell me stuff that I didn't understand at all and take pictures with me.

Actually, I had quite a few girls come up to me. Yes, MCG, as we've discussed on your blog, it's one of the benefits of being a guitarist. That's the thing with Excuse Me shows. There are more girls, hot girls, coming to our shows than any other band I have been in. And they are all in the front row, jumping up and down, and singing every word. I love that!! Now, it's not like I could take any of them home that night because I had a Metro full of gear. lol. (Funny story regarding one of the women in the crowd coming up.)


(This picture could be a punchline to a joke, "How many Hispanics does it take to pack a Metro?" P.S. Don't get offended by that, I'm 1/2 Puerto Rican.)




2:30-2:45AM - We, meaning the band and our friends, are all outside deciding what to do. We still want to hang out, but we don't want to go to a bar. Thirty five minutes later, we decide to go to a diner near Washington Sqaure. Why it took so long to figure out what we were doing is beyond me!

3:45AM - We get to Soup & Burger. The person leading the convoy of cars to get to the diner when around their ass to get to their elbow. But enough complaining, let's eat. I didn't realize how hungry I was. I just knew that I was tired and needed coffee. The discussion in the diner was hilarious as many in the group are drunk, and like most converstaions it turned to the topic of sex. We did discuss the show of course, and this is where that funny story about one of the women in the crowd come in.

All of us, Jasmine and Nicole included were talking about the fine looking women in the crowd. (Nicole doesn't go that way, but she's a photographer and brings A LOT of hot friends to the show. Thank you, Nicole!) Our friend, John, says, "Yeah, and there was there really fine woman who had a rack that wouldn't quit and she was dancing around to the music like nobody's business! Then she turned around and saw that she had an erection stick out from her skirt!"

EWWWW!

4:30AM - We leave the diner and Jay and I head to his house in East New York, Brooklyn. Both of us are just exhausted as we unload his drums.

5:30AM - I make it back to my house and unload my equipment. I am tired and hurting. I take a few minutes to wash up, clean the make up from my eyes. I then check the Excuse Me Myspace Page, to see the comments about the show. (Scroll down on that page for comments dated Nov 1. and Nov. 2.)


6:05AM - I collape in my bed and sleep the hardest 9 hours of sleep I have had in the longest time.

To Quote a Friend, "Excuse me while I tend to how I feel"

Hi Spidey-fans,

This is just a quick note that Part Two of my report on the show will be delayed a little longer. I have been extremely busy and stressed out. Work has been insane and there are some personal issues I have to work through. I apologize for being incommunicado, or out of touch. I just need a few more days to work through what I need to here at work and at home.

Thanks for being understanding.

Namaste,
Jim

36 Hours in the Life of a Rock Star Dreamer (Part 1)

Since a couple of you asked how the show went, here is a rundown of the show and the day . Pictures to be posted when I get them.

7:45AM (Tues, Nov. 1st) - I drag myself out of bed after hitting the snooze three times. As I get ready for work, I try not to think of the big show that night. I don't remember who in the band asked me about whether I was nervous about the show. I replied that I wasn't and that I was more worried trying to get to 42nd Street in Mahattan with a car full of gear.

9:00AM - I start work in Astoria. Thank the stars that my boss let me leave at noon and take Wednesday off. I had tried to get as much done as I could over the weekend and the night before, such as get all my amp/effects patches in order of the setlist, but there was still much to do. Also, I try to not to drink too much coffee so I can nap later. The three hours of work flew by! Granted I have enough work stacked on my desk to keep my busy for three weeks.

12:00 Noon (as opposed the 4:30 noon that everyone gets it confused with) - Out the door and on my way to Guitar Center on Northern Blvd. to get strings and a feedback blocker for my acoustic guitar. Guitar Center, the Walmart of musical instrument stores, is usually quiet during the week. . .which I love! I hate going there on a weekend when it is packed and there is an endless cacophony of guitar players mindlessly riffing. Play a fuckin' song all the way through won'tcha!! God, I hate guitar players!

The one thing I love about this Guitar Center is that the Assistant Manager there is so cute. She's this rocker girl and I'm not going to lie, I have had a little crush on her. (Can't blame a guitarist for finding a pretty girl who rocks on guitar and sings that much hotter! Not that anything will ever happen beyond a little flirting. I don't ask out smokers.) She and I chat a little, and out the door I go.

1:15PM - With strings in hand, I arrive home. I am a little worried because I haven't heard when exactly is load-in and soundcheck. You would think that B.B. King's would have told us that weeks ago, but NOOOO! So I set out to restring my main guitar (the one that I am playing in this picture).

I don't have a work bench in my apartment, so I transform my ironing board into a guitar work area. (This is of course after I iron my shirt, and $25 pin stripe (Salvation Army bought) black suit.)

Let me introduce you to the Zen of stringing a guitar. This is one area that is the biggest pain in the ass for guitarists. However, it is a necessary evil. Old, dead, cruddy strings sound like crap. So I really take time with this stringing. I get out the guitar polish and really clean the fret board. I make sure that there's no dust or fingerprints on the guitar when I am done. When I am done, and I plug it in to my amp, the guitar sings.

1:15PM-3:00PM - While restring my guitars, Jasmine, our bass player, calls me asking if I had heard from Jay, our drummer. It appears that no one has heard from him since the day before. He never made it home last night, his ex-girlfriend was supposed to meet up with him to give some stuff and he never showed, and his mother was getting worried. Now I am supposed to pick up Jay, and his drums, in Brooklyn before the show. Great, why can't we ever have a gig without any drama!?!


Jasmine and I both agree that we aren't going to call Nicole, our lead singer, about this. She has been going nuts about this gig and stressing out completely. She doesn't need this on top of it.

During this time frame I get the email that our load-in is at 9:30pm and our sound check is at 1030pm. I was worried that it was going to be early and smack in the middle of rush hour. God, that would have sucked!

4:00PM - Climb into bed for a nap. Try not to dream about nigtmare scenarios where Jay has been kidnapped by a bunch of midget Columbian druglords that will pimp him and sell him into white slavery.

5:15PM - Drag myself out of bed. I'm excited for the gig, but my bed is so comfortable. The only thing that would make it even more comfortable is if there was a warm woman in it with me. Hmm, maybe I should have stayed a little longer at Guitar Center talking to that manager. . .but I digress. Still haven't heard from Jay yet. Getting worried. I do the three "S's" and get dressed.

6:00PM - Finally hear from Jay. Turns out he partied too hard on Halloween and crashed at a friends place and only woke up at 3:30. I set the time to pick him up between 7:45 and 8. He lives in East New York, Brooklyn and I live in Middle Village, Queens so it is a little trip.

6:30PM - As I leave my apartment to pack my car, Nicole calls me to see how I am doing. I tell her "I'm doing great," as I open the hatch to my doorway, "and . . .EWWWW!! I just squished a slug with my hand!! EWWW!! Ok, Nicole, got to go. See you in a few!"

7:30PM - I make it to Jay's house in record time, after stopping at the bank and Wendy's. Jay is attaching lights to his drum set. I wait there while he finishes. The piece de resistance is the new bass drum head that he had painted with our logo.

8:00PM - Jay and I leave after packing my car with my guitar amp, pedalboard, two electric guitars, an acoustic guitar and his entire drum kit. (You'll see it in the pictures in the next post.) I put emphasis on "entire" because we accomplished this feat with my Chevy Metro! I wish I had taken a picture of it. I will for a future gig.

8:30PM - I am stuck in traffic four blocks south from BB Kings (42nd Street and 8th Ave) on 8th Ave.

9:05 PM - I finally pull in front of BB King's. Jay and I are totally stoked to see "NO DOUBT TRIBUTE" in big letters on the Marquis and our poster in the display. Jay and our friend Mike unload my car and bring the equipment into the club. I drive off to find parking. I luck out and find parking on the street two blocks away. This saves me $30 in parking.

9:20 PM - With my coat and jacket in hand, I make it to the club, get my VIP pass and enter the club. . .

More to follow in Part 2. (Click on any of the photos to enlarge them.)