Happy 2008! Resolutions.

The New Year starts tomorrow. Great. It will take me three months to get used to writing 2008 on things.

I don't have any real resolutions for the new year, mainly for the reason that I know they are so hard to keep. If I did have one resolution, though, it would be:

To keep myself healthy and sane in what will be one of the most stressful years of my life.

If everything goes as planned, it will be a great year. Stressful nonetheless.

In the ranking of stressors one can endure, the top five are a death in the family or close friend, a new job, moving, getting married, or getting divorced. I'm planning on three of those next year. Since I'm not married yet, I can't get divorced. (Besides, I went through something like that a couple of years ago.) And no one plans on a death in the family. Well, maybe if your family name is Soprano. ("I think I'll wack Tony this year!")

So in 2008 I'll be moving, starting new jobs, and getting married. Add to that finishing recording, mixing and releasing an EP; finishing massage therapy school and clinic; any number of gigs, and trying to get a book published by the end of next year.

Whew!! I think my stress level will be off the charts!

If you're wondering what you can do to help me maintain my sanity in 2008, it's quite simple.

DON'T DIE!!!

Since I'm already doing three of the biggest stressors, I don't need a death in my family or circle of friends. If the angel of death comes knocking on your door in 2008, tell him that it's not conducive to Spider's schedule (and yours) and for him to come back some other year. You and I both do not need his kind of stress!

Hope all of your New Year wishes come true! See you in 2008!!!!

Thank You - An Essay

A friend of mine is going through a tough time. What he is going through now reminded me of something I had written in my journal a while ago that I knew I would share here at some point. Here it is:


Thank you for pushing me away. Thank you for sparing me having to watch you self-destruct. Thank you for saving me watching you repeat the roller-coaster ride of unhealthy patterns. Thank you for sparing me hearing about you driving drunk again, and again, and having to worry about your life. Thank you for saving me the time of driving out of my way, by miles and miles, to visit you.

Thank you for sparing me the headaches caused by arguing against you stubbornly held wacked out beliefs. I used to only get those from religious fundamentalists. You, however, put them all to shame!

Thank you for saving me from having to witness you pass out, sometimes in mid-conversation, from another night of drinking.

Thank you for teaching me my boundaries, my limits of what levels of insanity I will accept in my life…including my own insanity. The definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over but expecting different results. Watching your insanity enabled me to see my own, which was continually trying to get through to you and then past your walls. I kept trying to get closer to you and failed, each time expecting different results. Thank you for saving me from insanity.

Thank you for sparing me listening to your mixed messages. “I love you! And I miss you!” along with pushing me away. Thank you for finally pushing so hard that I no longer care about sitting through that confusion. Thank you for helping me attain clarity.

Thank you for helping me realize and accept my role in the communication process. Thank you for making me see that I was an enabler; a co-dependent.

Thank you for helping me on the path to Recovery.

Finally, thank you, Alcohol, and your family, Addiction, for making your patterns so patently clear that I can no see them a mile away. And thank you for the pain you’ve caused me so I now steer clear of those patters for I long not to, and I will not, get burned by you again.



This was written about a number of people in my life and no one in particular. If you think I wrote this about you, or this resonates a little to closely, then perhaps you need to check yourself. Maybe you need to find a Meeting in your area.

Pron Spam Rant

So I posted a bulletin a few days ago on Myspace. that after thinking about it, and the emails I received in response, I thought it was blog-worthy writing and I should post it here for posterity. Perhaps if you have a Myspace account, you've had similar experience. Here it is:


So I am getting at least 10 emails and friend requests a day from fake girls trying to get me to go to either their webcam, where they put dirtier pictures up than Myspace will allow, or some dating site. Both cost money.


How about this? Just SHOW ME YOUR BOOBIES FOR FREE!!!!

Seriously, here's my email, Wbslngr76@yahoo.com , send me all the naked photos of you that you want! Don't expect a dime for it though. Ok, I'll be fair, I'll send you naked pics of me. How's that?!

Stop flooding my Myspace account with emails that are just going to have to be deleted. And plus, your account gets deleted in a few days anyway because Tom finds you out. I mean, really, how many black girls with rocking booties are living in China?!!! At least lie and say your from NYC or Miami or somewhere in the US. There are no black or white women named Tara or Jennifer selling pics of their junk living in China!!!

Also, there are a number free porn sites with quality content out there. WHY, in the name of Ron Jeremy, would you think I'd pay for your site if I can get stuff for free?

Thank you for listening. Glad I got that off my chest. Now I have to go clean out my inbox.

Now the responses I got by email have been hilarious. Here they are:

" holy shit, Spi!!!!!! you're too fuckin funny!!!!!" -from my cousin.

"you know, instead of going the free porn route, try changing your spam settings. ;)" -from my best friend's wife

" priceless!!" -from my guitarist friend, whom I share a similar taste in humor.

" Yeah, but I'm moving to your area and my lesbian girlfriend thinks you look cute from your profile pic and might turn straight after meeting you" -from a college friend.

Feel free to leave your own humorous comment. Also, know I really don't need people sending me booby pics. Luckily I have a fiance who appreciates boobies, so I don't get in trouble with them so long as I share. But I really don't need anymore.