Happy Birthday To Us!

So there are three very important birthdays happening today, March 31st, that you should be aware about. Since anyone born today is an Aries, they don't mind letting everyone know that it is their birthday.

The first person is someone you know quite intimately. . .ME! I turn 29 today at 4:36pm EST. I know that I am a geek for knowing the exact time of my birth. But hey, it was an important moment for me. Also, it lets me figure out the time differential in the next paragraph.

The second person whose birthday is today is one of my closest friends. For the moment, let's call her Rose, as I don't want to just throw her name out to everyone. (Those who know me well already know her real name.) She and I have an odd relationship full of ups and downs and twists in the road. (She was the friend I talked about in the last post.) However, I love her deeply and I have so much fun with her. I am actually leaving for her house after work today so we can spend our birthday together for the first time in about three or four years. Oh, and we've figured out that I am 1 year, 364 days, 7 hours and 26 minutes older than her. Yeah. . .we're both geeks.

The third birthday is not for a person, but something new and important. Air America Radio (www.airamericaradio.com) has its one year birthday today. It is the progressive answer to the Right-wing noise machine out there. Against the naysayers it has added affiliates and rocking the right-wing in the ratings. Yeah, baby!!

So today for my birthday I will have a big ass smile on my face as I drive down to NC to see my birthday friend while listening to Air America Radio along the way. Talk to you on Monday!

"Happy Birthday to us,
Happy Birthday to us,
Happy Birthday to Spider, Rose and Air America
Happy Birthday to us!"

Life Metaphors Part 1: Getting Off the Roller Coaster

I hate shopping for birthday cards. I can never find one that says what I want it to say. Also, what made my search yesterday so tough is that I have known this friend for many years. How can I find the right card to encapsulate all that I feel for her? All the ups and downs we have ridden, and all the paths we have traveled. Kitchy words written by poets who couldn’t find work otherwise seem hollow.

I say the “ups and downs ridden and paths we’ve traveled” to talk about the difference in our life metaphors. Life metaphors are how we interpret the world we experience. (This is taken from the work of Anthony Robbins.) If you live with the metaphor that “Life is tough,” then you will experience life that way. If you hold the metaphor that “Life is a cabaret, ol’ chum,” then your experience will be totally different.

In a phone conversation, about a month ago, my friend stated that she believed in the “roller coaster of life and relationships” metaphor. Ok, so didn’t come out and say “I believe that life is a roller coaster.” But said that is what you do in a relationship, talking about the various ones she has had. You stay with that person through the repeated ups and downs of the repeated rides on that roller coaster, no matter how sick it made you. And then when that relationship ends you get on the next roller coaster in the park and take that one for the ride. You keep doing this because that is what life is about. She even used that metaphor describes our friendship. “We’ve stayed friends with each other through the ups and downs. It’s been a roller coaster ride through the years. Hasn’t it, Spider?”

I think I placated her by agreeing, and may have even said that I don’t think that the roller coaster metaphor is adequate enough. But I didn’t tell her the truth. That being that I got off the roller coaster years ago. I was sick off having to keep going on a track that I had no control off; sick of the same ups and downs. Sick of getting sick. "If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!" (Miles Davis) In other words, stop getting back on the roller coaster if you find yourself in a repeating pattern that isn't bringing you the happiness you want! Change your life metaphor. So I felt that the roller coaster as a metaphor really did not work for either life or relationships. Hell, I further decided to leave the amusement park metaphor altogether.

I got into my car and started driving on the highways of life. What is great about this metaphor is that I can choose the speed, direction and with whom I am traveling with. The view always changes so it is always keeps my interest. Also, I can always go visit my friend at the amusement park. She’ll come off the roller coaster for a bit to eat. We chat and have a good time. She goes back to the roller coaster and I head back to my car.

Is the highway of life metaphor perfect? No. There are some problems that I have had with it. You can’t predict the weather that you will drive through. Also, as you are heading down unfamiliar roads, you don’t know where and when rest-stops, gas stations and places to eat will be. So it takes a little preparation. Also, the biggest thing to pay attention to is that YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR CAR!

Many would say that when I came down with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and went into a deep depression I was in one of the down turns of life, much like a dip in the roller coaster. I would rather say that I let my car breakdown. I was not keeping my body healthy and if you let that happen parts won’t keep working right. Now Jeff Foxworthy would say that if your car breaks down in the South to not worry about it because a bunch of Rednecks in a pickup truck drinking a six-pack of beer will be along soon to pull you out of your ditch. That sort of happened with me as I found out how to treat myself from some amazing people. (www.aboutcts.com)

As I said, I don’t think the highway of life is perfect and I am searching for new life metaphors to help me through life. A recent metaphor that I have learned about and like comes from a lecture series by Dr. Wayne Dyer on the “Power of Intention.” He talks about being on a trolley car. And the strap that hangs down for you to hold onto is Source (God) energy. And you need to reach up and hold the strap and trust the Source to take you where you need to go on this trolley ride. People will get on the trolley to share the ride with you. Some will be their for the entire trip. Some people will come on, stay briefly, and then get off. Others get on, get off, get on, get off. . .you know, they keep returning like a turd that won’t flush. Again, trusting the Source that who shows up for the ride with you is there for a reason.

I like this metaphor. I am still not sure if it is the right one for me yet. Anthony Robbins writes in “Unleashing the Giant Within” about holding many types of metaphors, for there are different situations to which they apply, as being essential for success. I figure I will get into talking about that in Part 2. I just wanted to focus on some big global metaphors for this post. Looking at life’s metaphors will probably be a focus for the next month.

Also, I wanted to focus on how the roller coaster metaphor is really inadequate because I am going to visit that friend this weekend. I keep hoping that she will finally decide that she is sick of roller coasters and want to go for a drive through the countryside, or a trolley ride through the city. (It would make for some more interesting phone conversations.) But she has to decide her own metaphors like I do mine, and you with yours.

I am just glad that whatever metaphors you are living right now have allowed our lives to crossed.

Namaste.

Being An Angel / Being The Miracle

The school that I give guitar lessons is near the corner of Crescent St. and 39th Ave. in Astoria. My apartment is near the corner of 44th St. and 25 Ave. I give the intersections so if you are interested, you can get an sense of the distance between the two on Mapquest. I know that it something like 1.2 miles from my apartment to work and then about 1.5 from my office to the school. I didn’t want to walk the 2.5+ miles home after my lesson so I take the N Train from 39th St. to Astoria Blvd.; thereby cutting about 2 miles from my walk home.

Coming off the train and as I start down the stairs that lead from the platform to the station, I notice a young mother behind me, struggling, as she tried to start down the stairs with an infant laden stroller. I quickly stopped, walked back up the steps and said, “Let me help you.” Even though she didn’t know who I was I could see the look of relief on her face. She nodded and said, “Thank you.” I went to the front of her strolling and held it by the bar between the front wheels while she held the top. We then progressed down the staircase.

Upon reaching the bottom I offered to help her down the next set of the stairs; the ones that went from the station to the street. Again, she said thank you and pointed to the staircase that she needed to go down. It was in the total opposite direction from where I needed to go, and would add some time to my walk home. We get to that staircase and repeat the process down the stairs. When we get to the sidewalk she tells me thank you again. I say, “You’re welcome. Have a great night!” And start walking in my direction home with a huge smile on my face.

Dr. Wayne Dyer has talked about studies that have shown when you are the recipient of an act of kindness your serotonin levels go up. Serotonin being the chemical that your body produces that makes you feel good and boosts your immune system. (I have written about it in a previous post.) The study also has shown that the giver of the act of kindness receives a boost in their serotonin levels. And then, surprisingly, it showed those around who saw the act of kindness had their serotonin levels go up. It makes sense because I felt great afterwards.

This reminded me of a memory from college and a discussion I had last week with a new friend. In college, I took part of Appalachia Service Project (A.S.P) for 3 of my 5 spring breaks. We would travel to Kentucky or Western Virginia and help rebuild the houses of people either too poor to do it themselves, or just physically unable, or a combination of the both. These areas were dirt poor. We’re talking third world country poor. We’re talking a woman with a blanket around her head, with a baby in her arms, crying by a broken brick wall poor. (There is only one person reading this that is going to get that reference. This ones for you!) And this is America. It is a outright shame that we have poverty like this in our country. Sure let’s have permanent tax cuts for the wealthy and corporations, but let parts of our country live in conditions as bad as Africa. But I will get off my soapbox right now.

The point of this telling you about A.S.P. is that one trip we were working on a woman’s home and she was so thankful for the work that we were doing. At some point during the week she said that she had been praying to God for a miracle for so long, and that we were that miracle. Whoa, that is heavy stuff. To be someone’s miracle. . .is. . .just amazing. I mean, I was thinking when she said that, “Um, lady all we did was put of some sheet rock, hang some gutters, do some paints, put in a window, fix your floor. . .” Ok, so maybe we did a lot. And we weren’t getting paid to do it either. Instead of going to the beach we chose to come to the backwoods of Appalachia.

The discussion I had last week with a new friend had to do with the question of what I believed regarding angels since I didn’t believe in the devil. (The conversation is still going. The beauty of email.) In a nutshell, I said that I believe that angels and demons were the positive and negative energy we manifest and send out into the universe. And that those energies manifest physically in us, man. Basically, we are the angels and demons with our actions. For example, the man that caught you as you slipped and fell on the icy sidewalk was acting angelically. The man across the street that laughed at you was acting demonically.
Often, we don’t know when we are being an angel. The universe just uses us.

So last night I got to play angel as I helped the lady down the stairs. You could see in her face that she was praying for help as she started down those stars. What if more of us consciously made the choice to be more angelic than demonic? How much better do you think this world would be? How much warmer? Maybe we need to remind people of their jellical selves. (Theatre geeks will know were that word “jellical” comes from.)

Well ladies and gents, if you have read this far we’ve now come to your homework assignment. Yes, I, Professor Spider have homework for you. Now, now, no groaning! It consists of two parts.


1. If you have read this far I want you to comment and write briefly about how you have been an “angel” or helped with a “miracle” for someone in the past few weeks. Or you can write about how you were the recipient of some angelic help recently. If you haven’t been an angel to someone, think of ways that you can spread kindness in the coming weeks.

2. Forward this post to people you know and remind them to be an angel or help a miracle along for someone. Also, tell them to remind people they know to be an angel. I know this is a bit idealistic, like the movie Pay It Forward, but, hey, it’s spring and a time of renewal. It will be a good thing if we can spread a miracle or two.


Have fun with the homework, Class. See you next time.

Random Thoughts #3

1. “Inevitable” is a word. Why isn’t “evitable”? Similarly, why aren’t post office employees said to be “gruntled” when they aren’t shooting each other?

2. The Blogger spell check function doesn’t recognize the word “blog.” What is up with that? (Credit goes to Phil over at http://thertrain.blogspot.com/ for pointing that one out. Also, I’d like to promote his creation of the words blamble, blambling, and blamber. Read his post on the topic.)

3. The only gum I will chew is Trident Original Flavor. I don’t know why this has become my trademark gum, it started way back in college. Also, I really like blowing bubbles. I am almost 29, but I will walk down the street, chewing gum at the same time, and blow bubbles like a kid.

4. Have you ever been to the Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus? My favorite part is when they bring out that giant metal sphere and have those guys drive the motorcycles around in it. They will do vertical loops, horizontal loops and all sorts of diagonal loops inside this sphere.

When I am really bored I imagine that the inside of my skull is that metal sphere and there are motorcycles zooming around inside. Yeah, I know. . .I am a nut.

5. I was talking with a friend who is a photographer. She talked about taking pictures at a wedding. Wedding photography is a huge industry. I mentioned to my friend that there is a whole market that they are totally missing. . .the divorces. Since about half of weddings end in divorce there is so much money to be made. Think of the marketing phrases that could be used. “We were there at the beginning of your marriage, let us be there at the end.” At the wedding they take pictures of all the smiles and fun. At the divorce they can take pictures of all the name calling, frowns and bitterness. Perfect bookends to each other.

My friend said I was just wrong for that. I don’t think it is as wrong as offering your photography services for a funeral (which is another untapped market).

“Jimmy and Sally, get over near grandma for this photo.”

“But she’s dead!”

“That is ok, she never looked better. Smile!”

6. My favorite cologne to wear is Escape by Calvin Klein. I really love this scent. Number two is Very Sexy for Him by Victoria’s Secret. I can wear either scent, sniff my wrist and say to myself, “Yeah, I’d sleep with me.” Sometimes we just need that confidence boost.

7. I miss playing video games. However, I know that I would get nothing done if I had a gaming system at home.

8. Check out the site www.engrish.com for a good laugh. It is hilarious. Apparently in Japan they will use English words for design purposes without really knowing what the English words or phrases mean. This results in some really funny situations. (Thanks to Chris and Amy for referring that site to me.)

9. Finding parking in Hoboken, NJ is near impossible.

10. I watched the movie “The Big Lebowski” for the first time a few weeks ago. That movie is genius. I have watched it two more times since then and it is just as funny each time. Also, the cover of “Hotel California” that the Gipsy Kings do for the soundtrack is brilliant.

11. I still want to kill the kids above me or at least introduce sedatives to their water supply.

12. My upper eye lid is still discolored a little from the black eye I gave myself four weeks ago. What is up with that? Get back to normal will ya!

13. I wish my roommate and his girlfriend would just break up already. They are so bad for each other right now. He knows this as well. I would put money on a bet saying that she is bi-polar. That would explain so much. At the very least, it is obvious that she really doesn’t know what she wants out of life or a relationship with my roommate. This is not a judgment of her character, just an observation of what I see. She is a sweet girl deep down, but in relation to my roommate . . .well, they are like oil and fire right now.

And this is not to say that my roommate has any clue as to what he wants or that he doesn’t have his issues. Lord knows he has loads of them. Ok, he has more than just loads of issues. We’re talking buttloads! I just think they need to take a break from each other because they are causing each other so much pain. They both need time to heal, get their priorities straightened, and maybe then they can relate to each other without fighting. I hope my roommate and his girlfriend have the strength to do that.

14. I miss sweet tea. Really miss sweet tea.

15. I turn 29 in 10 days. One last year in my twenties. 29 seemed so far away when I was 17 and a senior in high school.

16. Writing this blog is really therapeutic. I am flattered that a number of you enjoy reading what I write, but I am really writing for me. The fact that some of you enjoy reading this is icing on the cake.

17. I am happy that Easter is this week. It always heralds spring in my mind. And the fact that it means that licorice jelly beans, one of my favorite candies, are available in abundance.

18. “Diary of a Mad Black Woman” is a really good movie. Go see it.

19. I try to eat either an orange or grapefruit at breakfast, particularly in the winter. I love how that taste of citrus can temporarily transport me out of cold New York into a warm day in Florida.

A Child is Born, and Love is Made Alive

“From a world that’s never ending, from a sky beyond the skies, a child is born and love is made alive
Like a flaw that seeks perfection, with a will that will survive, a child is born and love is made alive.”
-from Made Alive by Spock’s Beard.


I wanted to write about this week’s “moment of Zen.” I take that phrase from the ending of The Daily Show on Comedy Central where Craig Kilborn, and then John Stewart, would end the show saying, “and here it is folk’s, your moment of Zen.” Then they would play some oddball moment from the show. From my study of Zen, I have taken this idea one more step to mean a moment when things are “right” and you feel that oneness with the world as opposed to just the wacko antics of The Daily Show. (Side note: That show is brilliant. End side note.) My ex-girlfriend and I would talk about our daily “moments of Zen” in our conversations in the beginning couple of years our relationship. Perhaps that is one reason we drifted apart spiritually and mentally. We stopped sharing those moments. (“Boredom between two people doesn’t come from being together, physically. It comes from being apart, mentally and spiritually” – Leslie Parrish-Bach) But I digress, this post isn’t about her.

This week’s “moment of Zen” happened while I was in church a week ago with Steve, his wife and their 1.75 year old son, Steve (from here on out, Lil’ Steve. Well, at least until he grows up and gets big. But we’ll deal with his new name then. Also, I am using Steve’s real name because he has commented on my blog and I would dishonor our 20 year friendship by not using his real name. However, I will anonymize him (new word, like it?) in the future when I tell any embarrassing stories about him and I.) I have known Lil’ Steve since he was born. I have changed his diaper a number of times. . . of course, not as many times as his parents. I have seen him grow, but more importantly, I have seen his father grow.

So Lil’ Steve was bashful towards me when I first arrived at his house that morning, as if I had never changed his diaper. Then again, knowing someone has changed your diaper could be a reason to be bashful. He wouldn’t even say hi to me. After some cajoling by mom, I just went to him picked him up and made him laugh and every thing was cool. He started saying, “Jim! Jim! Jim!” , in his tiny voice, and I’d say, “What, Lil’ Guy?” (He’s Lil’ Guy, while he dad is Big Guy.) His dad said, “Now you started it, Jim. He’ll play this game all day with you. He goes ‘Dad, dad, dad. ..” and then I go ‘what’ and then he keeps going.”

So we go to church, which was really uneventful for me. (Well, I did see my very first girlfriend. She is married now with a kid. That was a trip! Also, where did she get that chest!?! She didn’t have that when we dated. Yes, I was 13 and she was 12, but that is besides the point.) During the first song, I picked up Lil’ Steve and held him. He put his head on my shoulder and stayed like that for the whole of the song with his arms around my neck. I was. . .speechless and extremely happy. At the end of the song he sat up and clapped and then became restless and jumped out of my arms. But that moment lingered. It is still with me a week later.

As we were leaving the church, I go to the restroom. Big Steve takes Lil’ Steve out to the car. When I get out Big Steve tells me that Lil’ Steve was going, “Jim? Jim? Jim?. . .” as if to ask where I was. When I get in the car Lil’ Steve starts going, “Jim! Jim! Jim!” excitedly and tells me some stuff in gibberish. All in all, it was a great day and I feel so special that Lil’ Steve can say my name.

The deeper part of this post comes from the song quote above. I am amazed by Lil’ Steve. He didn’t even exist 3 years ago. Heck, Steve and I go back 20 years. Lil’ Steve wasn’t even a thought when we started our friendship back in fifth grade. Yet, here he is and I have to decide how I am to relate to Lil’ Steve. And I’ve decided to love him. Not that was a hard choice.

Long ago, I can’t remember when, Steve and I passed the point of being friends and became brothers. To brutally butcher a quote from Richard Bach, “God, in his infinite wisdom, made it so that all your family isn’t born under one roof.” His family became my family, and my family became his. I am excited to be “UNCLE JIM” to Lil’ Steve just like my “UNCLE PHIL” was to Big Steve. (No matter how I type those UNCLE PHIL or UNCLE JIM you guys won’t get the vocal inflection that Steve and I use when saying those. But Steve and Uncle Phil will)

I also look forward to be the lesson to Lil’ Steve that if two people as different his father and I are can be love each other, to be friends, brothers even, then he can learn to love those who are different from him. I also know that I will be the reminder to both Steves to love each other even when they won’t like each other. I know that will happen. Every teenage boy will think his dad is an idiot at one point or another. And every father will think his son is out of his mind.

How do I know this? Because Steve was that foil for me when I hated my father. He kept saying to me that no matter how much I didn’t like my father, that I needed to love him and keep trying to forgive him. I don’t hate my dad anymore. Haven’t for a few years. Still working on the loving him and forgiving him part, but that comes day by day. Baby steps, baby steps. That loving part is sometimes hard. It is good to have someone, like Steve, to remind you to do it.

So I will remind Lil’ Steve to love as he grows up in this mad, mad world. (That, and teach him about music.) There are few things in this world as magical as love, as special, as precious. And I will make sure that he knows that even when he doesn’t want to believe it.

I know you can’t read just yet, Lil’ Steve. But I love you. And I will make sure that you know that for all of your life.


And, oh yeah, Big Steve, I love you too.

Addendum to Yesterday’s Post About the Devil.

Wow, I really stirred the water! Digging in Dirt brings up some incendiary stuff. But hey, I knew that is what would happen. There have been people who have agreed with me, people who haven’t, and people who see some points on both sides.

But all this is good. Even if you disagree with someone thing I say, but it gets you to think. Then I have done my job. The who process of growth and self-discovery is about asking yourself questions and seeing what answers develop. Living with those answers for a time. And then questioning those answers again to still if they still hold up.

A few more comments regarding the Devil, and my thoughts on the topic and then it will be off to more light hearted, but no less deep, fun stuff tomorrow. I don’t mind the use of the Devil as a metaphoric device in the explanation of evil. My point is that the existence as an actually being as the source of evil is outdated, incomplete, and totally unnecessary in a modern world view. (It actually was unnecessary in the ancient world as the Celts lived 3500+ years with out a devil just fine. Same with the Native Americans.)

Furthermore, I don’t have a problem with the Bible on the whole. And to those who say that I haven’t read it or haven’t read it the correct way and getting “it” (whatever that “it” is) I ask, “What am I doing wrong?” Since, 1992 I have the Bible cover to cover 6 times. Some books of it upwards of 12-20 times. I have spent thousands of hours studying this and other religious texts. I have read the Old Testament with a side by side translation of Hebrew, translated by Rabbis. And I have read the New Testament with a side by side translation of the Hellenistic Greek. I have studied the KJV, RSV, NRSV, NIV, the Living Bible, the translation of the 5 Gospels by the Jesus Seminar and a few others that escape my memory right now. I have also read the Dead Sea Scrolls. Not in the original Coptic, mind you. I took Old Testament, New Testament, Christian Ethics and a host of other religion/ethics classes with world renowned Biblical scholars. What am I doing wrong? Personally, I can’t see how fundamentalists actually read the Bible and not see the things that I see. I keep trying to read the Bible and see things their way, but it hasn’t happened yet.

And that is the crux here. Fundamentalist Christians, or those who hold to a legalistic, literalistic view of the Bible will have a hard time with my statements about the Devil. (Fundamentalist Muslims would also have similar problems with my comments. Though, their viewpoint derives from a legalistic/literalistic view of the Koran.) While those who don’t hold that point of view, especially those of us who consider ourselves “Believers in Exile”, really won’t.

To those who worry about my eternal soul. Thank you for your concern. However, my personal relationship with Jesus is just that. My personal relationship. I don’t question yours. To those who still can’t understand and want to discuss why I don’t believe in the Devil, we can continue this discussion through email. If not, that is ok too. In the grand scheme of things I really don’t think my disbelieve in the devil is that important as we humans create more than enough evil ourselves than we can deal with.


Tomorrow’s post will be shorter and more light hearted, I promise.

I Have Seen The Devil and He is Us!!

Ok, I really didn’t want to write about this topic for awhile because I am having fun writing about other, less serious things. However, the commentator who posted the two Bible verses with regards to the last post presses this topic. Obviously, they focused on the one sentence in the intro where I said that I do not believe in a literal being called the Devil and totally missed the point of the entire post. (If you don’t know what I am talking about, go and read “Sometimes I Love Kids, Sometimes I Hate Kids” and all the comments.) While I have a good idea of the identity of the commentator, I will operate as if they are anonymous.

A bit of warning. If you are put off by theological and ethical discussions, then you might as well just skip this post and read the next. If, however, you are intrigued to read an essay on the virtue of personal responsibility, the read on.

So, the Devil, a.k.a. Lucifer, Scrotch, Ol’ Nick, Satan, The Evil One. . . yeah, yeah, yeah whatever you call him, in a nutshell, doesn’t exist. As least not in any supernatural being in living in a fiery, hellish dimension sending his minions and influence into the world. Also, a Devil as the incarnation of Evil and in a spiritual war with God, the incarnation of Good, is equally hogwash. This perception of good and evil is theologically immature, based upon centuries of myth, and actually a tool of religion to control the masses.

In the book A History of the Devil, Gerard Messadie traces the anthropological development of the Modern Devil. He finds that in cultures that do not have dualistic view of the universe they have no personification of evil such as our Devil. Even in places of many gods, like India, gods like Shiva the Destroyer and Kali are not analogous to the Western Devil. They are part of the pantheon of gods and the circle of life. Similarly, Hades, the god of the underworld in the Greek myths, isn’t necessarily the incarnation of evil. He is just the god of the dead.

In the Western Judeo-Christian tradition, the devil has gone through major changes from his earliest appearances; something which most Christians won’t acknowledge. And why should they? The don’t acknowledge the development and growth of the portrayal of God from the tribal deity, Yahweh, of the ancient Israelites among a wealth other deities worshiped by other people to the monotheistic being that exists in their dogma today. (A great book on this topic I highly recommend is A History of God by Karen Armstrong.) The Devil they claim is the serpent in the Garden of Eden is not the Satan in the Book of Job. Nor are both of these the same Satan that tempts Jesus or that exists in the Book of Revelation. Just as perceptions of God changed, so did the perception of the Devil. To deny this is to deny history as well as Jewish tradition. (Read Jewish Literacy and Biblical Literacy by Rabbi Telushkin.) Remember the Jews had the Old Testament first.

For example, the Satan in the Book of Job is not the Satan, Ruler of Hell. He is just an angel challenging God for the sake of the argument. Heck, it’s as if he is a trial lawyer on God’s payroll. (This is quite the opposite of the rhetoric that Christian Republicans were spouting this election season regarding trial lawyers. From their propaganda you’d think that lawyers were on Satan’s payroll.) He is a literary device as is the entire book to prove a challenge to the Deuteronomical Theory of Retribution. (Go read When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Rabbi Kushner for an excellent treatise on Job.) It is a work of fiction and not a literal account between God and Satan. Go ask any Jew.

Somewhere along the way, Judaism, and therefore Christianity, became influenced by Zoroastrianism, a religion perhaps older than both. (For an excellent essay on the origins and beliefs of Zoroastrianism, goto http://www.religioustolerance.org/ and find their essay on the topic.) It is within Zoroastrianism were are introduced to a dualistic theology of a God that is the incarnation of good, Ahura Mazda, who is in a cosmological war with a being who is the incarnation of Evil, Angra Mainyu or Ahriman, who are coexistent and coeval with each other. The duality of "absolute light" (Ahura Mazda) and "absolute darkness" (Ahriman) appears as the first roots of our mythical devil. Judaism did not have a personification/deification of Evil, nor the duality of God and Devil, before Zoroastrianism influence. (Of course, this duality is a theological fallacy because God, like Love, being whole, has no opposites.)

Religions based on power, as institutionalized Judaism and Christianity are, need this dualism to be able dictate how people should behave. The Devil, and hell, are used as psychological sticks to push the people to subservience and obedience. (I say stick, because the two driving forces of human behavior are the desire to gain pleasure and the need to avoid pain (the carrot and the stick). And we will do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure. Read Unleash the Giant Within, by Anthony Robbins.) Also, the Devil has been used by church and state authorities to demonize their religious and political enemies. For example, church and state conspired in the Middle Ages to imprison and murder various such "Devil inspired" heretics as the Cathars in order to maintain religious and political control while also profiting from the property they confiscated from the victims. And who can forget The Inquistion and those demonic Jews who had to be killed to save their souls.

Christianity has taken belief in the Devil to amazing, and painful, heights. The Devil is seen as a master player in world influence. His demons taunt us and he seeks to thwart God’s will in every way. Christian mythology paints the Devil and God in a war (there was a war in heaven and Lucifer, along with a host of angels were thrown out) with the outcome still undecided. (The fact that many fundamentalist Christians make it sound that God may lose this war is beyond me. Doesn’t sound like a God worth believing in if he can’t kick the crap of a pesky Devil, especially one He created. Furthermore, they fact that God let’s this “war” go on in the first place with humans as the collateral damage is an ethical/moral atrocity. And the fact that fundamentalists can’t see is proof of their damaged psychological state.) Supposedly, the Devil will have his servant, the Anti-Christ, arise among men signaling the Armageddon and there will be the Rapture and the long wars. And then Satan will rule for a period time here on Earth and then Jesus will return and smite him and God will create a new heaven on Earth. . . . blah, blah, blah. It’s all bullshit! And here is why.

If the Devil is the incarnation of Evil, and he is supposed to be conniving and smart enough to trick us, tempt us, pervert us, then he must be the biggest moron since President Bush, a man who has an MBA from Harvard, but has failed at every business he has ever had including currently running the U.S. into its largest deficit ever. Why the hell would the Devil fight a war with God, a war that is knows he is going to lose?!!! It’s prophesized right there in the Bible that he is going to lose. You mean to tell me that in the 1700+ years of its existence the Devil hasn’t read the Bible?! Hell, Tim Lahaye has made millions of dollars off the paranoid minds of fundamentalist Christians with his Left Behind series where it fictionalizes the prophesies of the Last Days predicted in the Bible. He has written 11 books in the series so far! You think the Prince of Darkness would read one them to see how all this plays out! Ain’t much a warlord of hell if he can’t figure out a different battle plan especially if “God’s Team” is going to write 11 damn books about!!! (Said in the voice of Goofy, “Man, I can’t understand why God’s army keeps kicking my butt on the battlefield! I wish I could get a look into his playbook.” Heck Satan, hire your servant Marilyn Manson to go read them to you if you don’t have physical hands to hold a book. Or be even lazier and read the books on tape, like I do!) It’s like the U.S. telling terrorists that “Hey, we’re ready for you we’re going to Code Orange alert level!” You morons!! You think the terrorists aren’t watching t.v., like the rest of us, and aren’t going to just wait until things calm down and then attack! Why not just call them and say, “Don’t attack us now, attack us in six months.”!?! That is about as stupid as attacking a country that didn’t have any ties with the terrorists that attacked us in the first place.

So if the Devil is one, mythical in origin, and two, apparently really fucking stupid, then why does the Church and society continue to promote his existence? Simple, it gives us someone to blame for our unethical and inhumane actions. It makes it easier to escape the guilt that would plague us if we actually stepped up and took personal responsibility for our actions. It makes it easier to give up that personal responsibility over to a church and its teachings when we accept whatever it is that they are teaching. The funny thing is that our personal lives, communities, nations and world would be in much better shape if we did take that responsibility into our own hands.

We are not the weak creatures that many religions make us out to be. All of us have the capabilities of being a Mother Theresa, or a Martin Luther King, Jr, or a Dalai Lama, or dare I say, a Jesus. (Hey, he said it himself in the Gospels.) We have the capacity for greatness and goodness as we do the capacity for inhumanity and evil. I believe that if we took responsibility for our actions, and were taught that and not that “the Devil made me do it,” we would see great change in our world. Because in acknowledging that it is ourselves who make the wrong action, the wrong decision, we are also acknowledging that it is ourselves who hold the key for changing that and doing good.

So when you are addicted to alcohol and are an asshole to all around you. Do not blame the Devil for your addiction and misfortune. Do not say that God has dealt you a bad hand. Do not blame your father, and his father, and his father, ad infinitum for being a long line of Irish drunks. Say, “I am an alcoholic.” I choose this path. And then say, “I am capable of change” and go seek help.

When you and your buddy try shooting each other in a botched suicide attempt, do not blame the Devil for your actions. Do not blame Judas Priest and sue them in court for their crappy music. Blame yourself. Say “I am the person who was feeling worthless. I am the one who fucked up my life.”

When you are protesting the Gay Pride parade waving a sign that that says “GOD HATES FAGS!” don’t blame the Devil for it and do not blame the Devil for the existence of gays. Furthermore, how dare you even use the words God and hate in the same sentence! If God is Love, it is theological, and grammatically, impossible to Him/Her to hate. (“Love (God) Hates Fags” doesn’t work!) Be a man and hold a sign that says “I HATE FAGS!” or “I am a homophobe!” At least then you will be honest.

Notice how when you take responsibility of your actions you say the two most powerful words in any language, “I AM.” That gives you the power to make the change in your life. When you say, “I am a loving person,” even when you are not at that point, eventually you will become loving if you keep with that new self-definition. But you can’t do that until you take responsibility for your actions and stop blaming the Devil, or God for that matter.

So where does that leave us with the origin of evil if there is no Devil? Well folks, I am sorry to say that is us. The capacity for evil is in us. We humans, not the Devil, are the ones who created the guns, swords, drugs, atomic weapons, wars, concentration camps, genocide, religious fundamentalism, germ warfare, boy bands, the Spice Girls, reality t.v. shows and Taco Bell. And the list goes on.

However, I will say it again. We can be the agent of change for good in this world if just take the responsibility.

A word of warning to those who are going to respond and challenge the ideas I put forth in this post. If you are going to quote from whatever religious scripture you read, please make sure you one, cite the source and two, you actually use logic and reason to show how said passage relates to this topic. Beware if you hold to the myth of scriptural inerrancy, more than likely I will shatter that myth as well as I just did with the Devil. Also, I will say though that unless you have read the books listed below, I will probably be able to tear your argument to shreds. Sorry, you face that when you are talking with someone who Majored in Mathematics (hence, the use of logic and reason) and Minored in Ethics (the knowledge of how to argue properly). Then again, you may not want to accept personal responsiblity or force humankind to do likewise. If so, keep believing in your Devil. I have no need for such myths.

Suggested Reading:

A History of the Devil by Gerard Messadie
A History of God by Karen Armstrong
The Skeptics Annotated Bible www.skepticsannotatedbible.com
Liberating the Gospels, Why Christianity Must Change or Die, and A New Christianity for a New World by John Shelby Spong
Original Blessing and The Coming of the Cosmic Christ by Matthew Fox
Biblical Literacy and Jewish Literacy by Rabbi Joseph Telushkin
When Bad Things Happen To Good People by Rabbi Harold Kushner
Biblical Prophecy: Failure or Fulfillment? by Tim Callahan

Sometimes I Love Kids, Sometimes I Hate Kids

It appears that sleep will continue to escape me. Even though reconnecting with Source has provided me with better sleep, it appears that the Devil has conspired against me. I say Devil in a figurative sense because I do not believe he exists (topic of a future post). However, I give him credit for this torture because the perpetrators have to at least be his spawn. Who and what am I talking about?

The two sons of the my landlord’s fiancé have move in to the apartment above me. Their room happens to be right above mine. They are ages 3 and 5 and it seems that their mother feeds them a diet of liquid speed. The routinely wake up between 7:00 and 7:15 AM, at time when I am still asleep particularly on weekends, and immediately proceed to engage in what sounds like World Cup Soccer, but with bowling balls, complete with screams and yells. The 3 year old, I am guessing that it is him because his voice is high pitched, will often yell what I take to be his version of “GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!” for amazing lengths of time. I find it incredible that someone so little can produce that much sound without taking a breath.

Every now and then, which means once every ten minutes, there will be a loud thud. I imagine this is the 5 year old body checking the 3 year old as he drives the bowling ball towards the goal net. These thundering, house-shaking booms are compounded by the fact that my head is only a foot and a half from the ceiling. This was something that I had considered a problem when I was building my loft. The Devil-Spawn had not moved in yet and I didn’t know that they would be right on top of me.

Their mother isn’t any better. I hear her walking in the apartment upstairs as if she was standing next to me. From her heavy footfalls I can determine the following:
1) she has watermelon size breasts that are made of lead,
2) she wear high heels at 8:00 in the morning and said heels have a built-in jack-hammer pump, and/or
3) she is a silicon-based life form, thereby having a higher body density, instead of carbon-based like you and I.

I determine the third because it is inhumanly possible to sound that heavy when she is a fairly regularly sized woman. Either that or it is reason number 1. I have not seen her in anything other than sweaters so I am only guessing on the size and make up of breasts. Again, it just a conjecture on my part as I don’t know where she is keeping her tons of weight. She has a shapely body so that is my only guess. And I know it is the mother that is walking in the heels in the morning, and not the landlord, because, even though it sounds like she weighs what her weight would be on Jupiter, she still has a dainty lady-like gait.

So I have not had much pleasant sleep lately. Ear plugs have not helped as these kids seem to create sound louder than an AC/DC concert. It has only been a week since they moved in and already I want to kill them. Or at least introduce them to my friend Mr. Chloroform.

Now to provide contrast I’d like to introduce you to my newest guitar student, Maya. Maya is 8 and ¾ (she made a distinct point to mention that) and she has ADHD (Attention Deficit/Hyperactive Disorder). That said, in three weeks she has become one of my best students ever.

Maya is a flower child. I didn’t think there were any left, nor did I think that anymore were being born. She comes wearing pink paisley pants and an arsty hat. She lives in her own creative world. And she has an excitement and joy about playing that is intoxicating.

What makes Maya truly special is that she writes her own songs. At our second lesson, where I was worried she would not have gotten down the two simplest chords (E minor & A minor) I taught her the week before because of her ADHD, not only did she have those chords down pat she brought in a song called “Magic Land.” that was a perfect tool for me to teach the new chords (G, C, & D Major). Granted, “Magic Land” was incredibly simplistic and had happy cows, dancing ballerinas and a castle floating in the clouds but it as a coherent piece of music/poetry.

This past week she came with two songs along with having really nailing the three chords I had taught her the week before. Like “Magic Land,” she would sing the melody and I would put the chords underneath it and then teach her those chords. One of the songs I am still laughing about now. The song was called “Kate”, written about one of her friends. It went something like,

“Kate, Kate, Kate, she has a pearly gate
and she has 17 dates!
Kate, Kate, Kate,
Now she has finger-paint.”

I laugh because I was supposed to meet with a girl named Kate this past Sunday, but plans obviously fell through as I didn’t hear from her. This is the second time in the two months that a “date” with a girl named Kate or Katie has fell through. Now I know why, she had 16 other dates to work around that day! Well, I am happy that she now has finger-paint so she can at least paint me a letter telling me she can’t make it next time.

Maya leaves the lesson so excited. She truly is a joy to teach. What really got me was what she said to her dad as the left the music school the first day.

“So Maya, how did you like your first guitar lesson?”

“I loved it. This is the best day of my life!!”

Thank you, Maya. Thank you. You , and students like you, are the reason I love teaching music. I just hope that I am not too tired next Saturday morning for our lesson because of the hellions upstairs.

Two Poems From Long Ago

I was going through old journals and found these two poems. I wrote them from a stream of conciousness, so I am not sure of their meaning. Hope you enjoy.

Drawing concentric circles in fields
With stones and wooden images
To let them know where we stand
As if the gods can’t tell the difference
and know who can pass through.
The shadowgates to where time changes
from lines to circles
Rising up, through moments, memories
of future history as told through
ancient female eyes.
Can you see the thrust of (em)passioned life
pushing up like blades of grass through
cracks of man’s permanent pavement
punctured by mother nature’s retort.
Our buildings undone by our arrogance,
Structures, built upon crosses, fragmented by the weight
of their ineffiency
Those frustrated walk away
and pass through.

The gods greet those few with smiles
for they have journeyed far
and left behind remnants of their former lives
The mist rises off the mountain with
the warming of the morning air.
and I am left here as the gods return.

The northeastern wind is cold
finds it way through the crevices
of my soul.
Can I not shed my limiting skin to travel
with ease of thought
Or am I bound here for my time?

Drawing concentric circles on my floor
lighting candles at each point.
The gods know where I stand
and join me in the dance.
She crosses the floor towards me
and we meet where man and majick mix
As the Earth touches where gods tread.

07/12/1999


From the tattered regions and empty plains
The noise rises, clanging in time
If peace were only just a reality
I could live within the cursive dream
The echoes of words not sent
Resound through caverns no bigger
than the minds that create half-truths
and fairy tales for common man
Neither the light nor the read
Can bend enough to hold their
fortunes in place. Perhaps it’s
Time for a changing of the guard.

Who can answer its call, if
Silence held the sway. Neither
the money changers nor the captains
would rise to lend their hand.
So I was sent to call a vision
to life, to awake the sleeper
So she can turn daydreams into
Something she can hold in her hands
From the empty regions and tattered plains
The sun rises, forever changing time
To make peace the only reality
And wake us for our pensive dream.

08/03/1999

Listening to the Inner Voice(s)

There is a reason I don’t eat fast food much anymore and today was a perfect example. I really didn’t eat much of a breakfast; just a banana. So the two large cups of hazelnut coffee really jolted my system. While very delicious, I probably didn’t need that much caffeine. So by lunchtime, I had the shakes. Not good.

Also not good was the fact that I didn’t pack my lunch. I really don’t need to be spending money on ordering lunch out from the office. I figured, though, that $2.50 for a quart of wanton soup from the Chinese place up the block was an expense I can afford. And hot soup makes a cold day better. Well, by 1:45pm still hadn’t left the office to get lunch. I wasn’t incredibly busy, but in a real in depth conversation with coworkers so I didn’t want to leave. (Plus, it’s damn cold outside. Not Saskatoon-cold, but cold nonetheless. Being a Damn Yankee for nine years has thinned my blood a bit.) Then as an office we decide to get Kentucky Fried Chicken. It was going to be quite inexpensive since one of them had a coupon.

2:30 I finally get to eat. I devour two drumsticks and a chicken breast, cole slaw, mashed potatoes with gravy and a glass of cream soda. Since I was hungry, the food went down fast. Perhaps that is reason one why I didn’t feel good afterwards. Reason two is because I haven’t had fried chicken and soda for so long. Also, last night I went to the Jackson Hole Diner, home of the best burgers in Queens, with a friend of a friend who was up visiting. I ate a huge burger with onion rings. Absolutely delicious, but more than a weekly dosage of fat and cholesterol. I told my stomach, “We’ll eat healthier today!” And what I do give it? Friend chicken.

For the next hour I didn’t feel well. Good thing I ate so fast because I still had time on my lunch hour to rest. The queasiness passed, but exhaustion set in. For the rest of the day I counted the minutes till I can leave to go home. I get home a little before six and then proceed to sleep until seven. So much for going to the gym to work off last night’s burger.

Lesson learned today. I think this one will stick longer than the Taco Bell lesson which I seem to forget every three to five months and have to relearn.. I love Mexican food and used to eat Taco Bell all the time. However, my stomach doesn’t like Taco Bell. (Also, their customer service has gone to crap, much like Blockbuster video stores. Is a prerequisite to working at either place that you have to be a blathering moron?) This is the inner dialogue that goes on as I pull into the parking lot.

Stomach: Uh, Jim. . .what are you doing?

Jim: Well, we’re running late for band practice and we need to eat something that we can eat while driving.

Stomach: Ok, but you know we, I mean, I don’t like Taco Bell. Remember last time we ate Taco Bell?

Jim: Yeah, but this time will be different. It won’t affect us the same way.

Stomach: For a genius, you are quite the moron, Jim. Remember statistics class? What is the probability that the Taco Bell food is going to have a adverse reaction with your gastrointestinal system?

Jim: Um. .. .uh. . .(doing the math in my head). . . .quite high?

Stomach: Of course it will be quite high, you twit!!! When hasn’t Taco Bell caused an adverse reaction to our system?

Jim: Um. . .uh. . .(searching memory banks) . . .before college?

Stomach: RIGHT!! Now get back in the car and let’s go to a deli and get a turkey sandwich. . . . . . . . .Wait, what are you doing? You’re going into the store!?! You are actually ordering!?! WTF is wrong with you!?!?!!! . . . .Alright, mister. Enjoy your ranchero taco and chicken burrito! I AM GOING TO PAY YOU BACK BIG TIME!!!!

And my stomach is pretty much always right. I should listen to it more often. Like today, when first entertaining the idea of KFC. “Um, Jim? I know the body is starving and is having the caffeine shakes (which is your own damn fault. I told you to eat the instant oatmeal. But nooooo you just eat the banana!), but are you sure that KFC is the right thing to eat?”

Wise men are always saying to listen to the still, small voice inside. That voice is God telling you what to do. It takes practice to quiet all the other noise around, both outside and in, to hear. But sometimes there are other positive voices in there trying to guide you. . .like your stomach. Listen to them, they’re trying to look out for you too.

Tomorrow for lunch? Spinach salad, peanuts, granola bar and an apple. Stomach is much happier with that.

Snowbound, again.

Falling snow is pretty. It quiets the city and has a unique “tinkle” sound. As a musician it no wonder that I see the world in sound. And snow, no matter where I have encountered it, has that tinkle to it. That is the only time I think snow is pretty. Here in NYC it turns everything into a dirty slush so quickly. The streets are dirty and the slush makes it a nightmare to walk. Can you tell that I am anxiously awaiting spring?

So last night, because of the storm, I was snowbound. Stuck at home, by myself. I kept myself entertained by doing a weight-lighting workout, making spaghetti white clam sauce and practicing. But I really wanted to go out. Not that I have anywhere to go, or anyone to see, but I like walking through the neighborhood. I am not particularly fond of Astoria with is urban-ness. However, I sit in an office all day, with no window near my desk, so I don’t want to be stuck at home all night.

I sit here at my desk eating a pink grapefruit. I can’t tell you how much I am enjoying it. I love how the smell and taste of citrus conjures up the feelings of summer. Those days last month when it was10 degrees F, I would have a orange for breakfast. And for a brief moment I was on the beach in Florida. Ahhh, a warm sun on my face, less clothes on my body and no damn snow!

However, I have learned a lesson. Pink grapefruit does not go well with coffee.

My birthday is in 30 days. In North Carolina is usually was almost always warm and pleasant. The past two birthdays I have spent here in NY have been rather crappy weather wise. Doesn’t Mother Nature know that my birthday falls after the vernal equinox? Therefore, there should decent weather. I don’t mind wearing a sweater, but it needs to be pleasant.

Ok, I am done ranting about winter. C’mon spring!!