Listening to the Inner Voice(s)

There is a reason I don’t eat fast food much anymore and today was a perfect example. I really didn’t eat much of a breakfast; just a banana. So the two large cups of hazelnut coffee really jolted my system. While very delicious, I probably didn’t need that much caffeine. So by lunchtime, I had the shakes. Not good.

Also not good was the fact that I didn’t pack my lunch. I really don’t need to be spending money on ordering lunch out from the office. I figured, though, that $2.50 for a quart of wanton soup from the Chinese place up the block was an expense I can afford. And hot soup makes a cold day better. Well, by 1:45pm still hadn’t left the office to get lunch. I wasn’t incredibly busy, but in a real in depth conversation with coworkers so I didn’t want to leave. (Plus, it’s damn cold outside. Not Saskatoon-cold, but cold nonetheless. Being a Damn Yankee for nine years has thinned my blood a bit.) Then as an office we decide to get Kentucky Fried Chicken. It was going to be quite inexpensive since one of them had a coupon.

2:30 I finally get to eat. I devour two drumsticks and a chicken breast, cole slaw, mashed potatoes with gravy and a glass of cream soda. Since I was hungry, the food went down fast. Perhaps that is reason one why I didn’t feel good afterwards. Reason two is because I haven’t had fried chicken and soda for so long. Also, last night I went to the Jackson Hole Diner, home of the best burgers in Queens, with a friend of a friend who was up visiting. I ate a huge burger with onion rings. Absolutely delicious, but more than a weekly dosage of fat and cholesterol. I told my stomach, “We’ll eat healthier today!” And what I do give it? Friend chicken.

For the next hour I didn’t feel well. Good thing I ate so fast because I still had time on my lunch hour to rest. The queasiness passed, but exhaustion set in. For the rest of the day I counted the minutes till I can leave to go home. I get home a little before six and then proceed to sleep until seven. So much for going to the gym to work off last night’s burger.

Lesson learned today. I think this one will stick longer than the Taco Bell lesson which I seem to forget every three to five months and have to relearn.. I love Mexican food and used to eat Taco Bell all the time. However, my stomach doesn’t like Taco Bell. (Also, their customer service has gone to crap, much like Blockbuster video stores. Is a prerequisite to working at either place that you have to be a blathering moron?) This is the inner dialogue that goes on as I pull into the parking lot.

Stomach: Uh, Jim. . .what are you doing?

Jim: Well, we’re running late for band practice and we need to eat something that we can eat while driving.

Stomach: Ok, but you know we, I mean, I don’t like Taco Bell. Remember last time we ate Taco Bell?

Jim: Yeah, but this time will be different. It won’t affect us the same way.

Stomach: For a genius, you are quite the moron, Jim. Remember statistics class? What is the probability that the Taco Bell food is going to have a adverse reaction with your gastrointestinal system?

Jim: Um. .. .uh. . .(doing the math in my head). . . .quite high?

Stomach: Of course it will be quite high, you twit!!! When hasn’t Taco Bell caused an adverse reaction to our system?

Jim: Um. . .uh. . .(searching memory banks) . . .before college?

Stomach: RIGHT!! Now get back in the car and let’s go to a deli and get a turkey sandwich. . . . . . . . .Wait, what are you doing? You’re going into the store!?! You are actually ordering!?! WTF is wrong with you!?!?!!! . . . .Alright, mister. Enjoy your ranchero taco and chicken burrito! I AM GOING TO PAY YOU BACK BIG TIME!!!!

And my stomach is pretty much always right. I should listen to it more often. Like today, when first entertaining the idea of KFC. “Um, Jim? I know the body is starving and is having the caffeine shakes (which is your own damn fault. I told you to eat the instant oatmeal. But nooooo you just eat the banana!), but are you sure that KFC is the right thing to eat?”

Wise men are always saying to listen to the still, small voice inside. That voice is God telling you what to do. It takes practice to quiet all the other noise around, both outside and in, to hear. But sometimes there are other positive voices in there trying to guide you. . .like your stomach. Listen to them, they’re trying to look out for you too.

Tomorrow for lunch? Spinach salad, peanuts, granola bar and an apple. Stomach is much happier with that.