Random Thoughts, Part 2

1. Everyone looks rough at the Laundromat on Sunday morning. Present company included.

2. There was a beatitude that Jesus forgot to mention, “Blessed be the bearer of chocolate.” (Am I right, ladies?)

3. Have you noticed the guy whose job it is to mark your receipt as you leave a store? I don’t about you, but in the stores around here they don’t even look in your bag. What they hell is his mark on my receipt going to do? Particularly the guy at Home Depot. He doesn’t even really look in my bag. How does he not know that I am walking out with a wankle rotary engine?
And there is the security guard guy at the local five and dime store, Dee & Dee’s. This guy couldn’t chase down a snail who had a tailwind. I could knock him down with a flick of a finger. “Let me see your receipt.” He draws a circle on it and lets me go. WTF is the purpose of that!?!

4. Like #2, I think there was a commandment that Moses forgot to write down. #11, “Thou shalt not get up before the sun.” Now, it is alright to stay up until the sun gets up, but the sun should rise before you if you are asleep. That way you can see what you’re doing.

5. Neil Peart is the best drummer alive. Period.

6. It still sucks that Dimebag Darrell was killed. (Guitarist of Damageplan and Pantera for those who don’t know.) I am still bummed about that.

7. While Krispy Kreme donuts beats Dunkin Donuts’ donuts, Dunkin Donuts Coffee kicks Krispy Kreme’s coffee’s butt. AND Dunkin Donut’s coffee beats Starbucks anyday.

8. Here is a short rant on the diamond industry by Ed Roman of Ed Roman Guitars. If you do a Google on the diamond industry you will see that what he speaks about is true. http://www.edromanguitars.com/rant/diamonds.htm


9. Ok, this one is a kicker. So the agency I work for helps people with autism. In our residential houses, we give a home and services to autistic/MR people over the age of 21. Now these people have a need just like everyone else, and will take care of it themselves. Just because they have autism or MR doesn’t eliminate nature’s desire. You know, they take a little extra time in the bathroom, nudge, nudge, wink, wink. (C’mon, you know you all do it so don’t judge. If you say you don’t I know you’re a liar.)

Anyway, somehow we had gotten on the topic that sometimes staff will walk in on a resident doing their business. It’s like, “Whoah!! I didn’t need to see that!” So my co-worker shared a story of when he worked for another agency. He was working for at a residence and walked in on a resident going to town with an unusual pleasure aid. Now, not to go too far into the gutter, or too gross, I, as other males, have used lotion, Vaseline, shampoo in the shower. . .in other words, logical things to use.

So my friend said that this resident was using ALUMINUM FOIL! Let me repeat that. He was pleasuring himself with aluminum foil wrapped around his John Thomas!!??!!!?!?!?!!

I was deeply disturbed for the rest of the day. My nether regions cringed in sympathy pain. And my mind tried, and failed, to grasp the concept of using Aluminum Foil. I am still shaking my head at this. Granted this isn’t as wacked out as that guy in Wales cutting off his own balls (Random Thoughts, Part 1), and I know the resident is not all there, but c’mon, aluminum foil!!

I have a feeling I will joke about this for many a post to come.