The Search for Quality Employees

Below is an email I sent to recruiter in my company’s human resource office. We have been having an ongoing discussion about the low level of quality in the cover letters and resumes that we receive. She said they forget the “beauty of pride, proof-reading and spell-check.” I think the problem is more insidious. Some of the people are just ignorant and, unfortunately, a product of American Public schools. Perhaps I am hyper-critical about this because I was an admissions counselor for two years. I easily read over 500 college applications. I read applications from people with a 1.5 G.P.A. to people who had a 4.5. So I feel I have a good reference on how to judge a cover letter and general writing. You'd be amazed at what people write in their college essays!


Two things of note. QSAC stands for “Quality Services for the Autistic Community.” And a “consumer” is an autistic person for whom we provide services. In my particular department, we have 9 houses where older autistic consumers live.

Here is my letter:



Sara,

Stop rationalizing for some of these people. (lol) These are mistakes that spell check aren't going to fix!! Nor any amount of proof-reading on their part. For instance, let’s take a look at this letter,

"My skills, knowledge and background prompted me to apply for a position with you company."

-Really!?! Ok, Sybil, thanks for applying. Reading a classified ad can prompt you to apply. A recommendation from a friend can prompt you to apply? Abstract concepts like skills, knowledge, and background can’t do that! How did that happen? Where you sitting at your kitchen table and did a voice in your head go, "Hey dude, this is your Skills talking. You should apply to QSAC." Then another voice kicks in. This one probably sounds like Patrick Stewart. "Hi, Knowledge here. Just wanted to let you know that I concur with Skills. QSAC needs you! Apply." Then Background kicks in. "Yo, yo, yo, Back-to-the-Ground over heeeare!!! Yo, dog! Youz gotta apply to QSAC!" (Background sounds like that because this guy is from Far Rockaway, Queens)

-The letter goes on, "My ability and knowledge along with my excellent organizational skills make me an outstanding asset to your well-organized company."

-I won't touch on the grammar mistakes or lack of use of commas. However, I will touch on his assumptions. First, how can you be an outstanding asset to our company when you aren't even working here yet? You possibly "will be" an asset in the future, but you can't be an asset to us at this current time because YOU DON'T WORK HERE YET! Quite presumptuous of you there! Perhaps the concept of linear time escapes you.

Secondly, how do you know we are a well-organized company? It may appear that way from the outside and our website, but you can not make that judgment until you see if from the inside.

Thirdly, the assumption you make about your excellent organizational skills and knowledge. If you had both, then you would that you could have organized your resume to one page instead of two and includes the dates of your education!

"I also posses good communication skills with adults and children."

-That is good to know. You can organize a "posse" of people for good communication with adults and children. I didn't know the word "posse" could be used as a verb. Nor did I know that one can create posse of skills. I thought posse only apply a group of people who are usual out to seek some form of street justice much like in the Old West.

"Should you require any additional information, feel free to contact me at the above number."

-Yes, can we have the number of your English teacher so we can get them fired from the college you attended? (Actually, that is the best sentence of the entire letter.)

All said, though, we are bringing this guy in for an interview. He has a good amount of experience and we figure you don't have to have good written English to work with the consumers. I don't think autistic people ask to know if a staff person can draft a letter in proper professional format.


I hope that made you chuckle a bit.


Jim