"Where Is My Home. . . "

The title for this post comes from the chorus of a song by Midnight Oil. I can't remember the rest of the words, nor can I look them up as the cd is packed away in boxes awaiting the move to the new apartment. I was talking with close friend last night, relating the stress of the move and starting over, the awkwardness between my former girlfriend and I, and the stress of dealing with 14 to 16 inches of SNOW!!! I tell you, a blizzard is now way to endear me to New York living.

So she says to me, "You just need to come home, Spider!"

Now on one level I know that she means North Carolina. But another could be that she just misses me. She did say for a close friends as we are, that we don't get to spend enough time together. That got me thinking.

What is "Home"?

It is an abstract concept. George Carlin used to say, "Don't call them "homeless!" Home is an abstract concept that can be anywhere. Call them what they are, "houseless!"

Is "home" a "where", a place? Does it have to be tied to a geographic location? I mean, I know that "New York's not my home." (Thank you, Jim Croce!) But right now, North Carolina isn't calling me that hard. There are some people there, like the above mentioned friend, two of my best buddies and my sister, who are telling me to move there. But will that be the next step for my career? One of the reasons I left Greensboro was to seek a different music scene. That is not to say that Charlotte, Raliegh or Asheville could offer something different, but I am not so quick to jump. Also, many musicians talk about the road being home. Like them Rom, never tied to one place, but never not at home.

Is "home" a "how?" Do you have to be doing something for it to be home? If you go to a job that you hate everyday, does it have that "homey" feeling? Do you need to have to feel that your career is moving in a certain direction to make a city feel like home?

Is "home" then a "when?" Does someplace become home after awhile or does it have to have that feeling from the start? You know, you walk into that apartment or house and say, "Yes, this is where I will live. It just feels right." (I have had that with a couple of guitars, from the minute I picked it up, I know that it was just right. Gosh, I sound Goldilocks there.) Or does a place become home over time as you make friends and connections. As you fix up the house the way you like it? Can you spend a significant amount of time in a house and have it never feel like home? (I know the answer to that one is yes.)

Is "home" then a "with whom?" To some, I guess, that it doesn't matter where they are so long as they are with certain people, they are home. Family ties and all that. Have you ever embraced someone, held one another in each other's arms, and felt at home? That has only happened a handful of times for me. Doesn't it feel great!?!

But at the same time, I also believe that "there is no such thing as far away." Perhaps I am too much a Richard Bach fan, but the ones you love are always with you. To think that love is limited by such boundaries as distance is to put infinity in a box.

Maybe "home" is a why? "I feel at home because. . . " The feeling of home is justified by the reason given. It could be the person, the place, or it could be the purpose. By purpose I mean a cause or mission. Mother Theresa wasn't from India or among the poor that she ministered to, but she made that her home. Maybe that is an unfair example because how many of us can live up to her example, but hey, it was the first one that came to mind. So is home where where we make it to be. We create our home, we manifest it to being.

Perhaps then, "home" is a combination of of those reasons. It can be a where, but doesn't have to be when combined with a "with whom." Or it can be a why and how, such as a musician on the road, and not tied to a place. Could I be so lucky, so blessed to maybe find a "home" that is a combination of all those reasons? I hope and pray so.

So I am back at the title of this post. "Where is My Home?" I am no closer to the answer, but I guess that part of this journey is to manifest it.

Namaste