And You Are. . . ?

It is a cold and rainy day here in NYC, painfully cold. A day that makes all this apartment searching all the more tedious. Who wants to walk 10+blocks in the rain?

I visited three apartments last night trying to find the right roommate situation. I feel like I am going on interviews, however, with sucky questions. You would think that if one were interviewing someone to live with them that they would come up with more creative questions than, "Where do you work? Are you neat? What hours do you keep?"

While these are all valid questions, they do not touch at the soul of one’s being. You are not going to learn much from them. Perhaps it comes from the two years that I spent as an admissions counselor interviewing hundreds of students. I would ask questions that would cause the student to think and to reveal themselves.

A simple question would be, "What was the last great book you read? What made it so meaningful to you?" It was fun to see the jocks try to answer this one, especially the football players. So many of them weren’t readers.

Here is one that I particularly liked, "If they were to make a movie of about your life, what actor would play you? Your parents? What genre of movie would it be?" I personally dream of Kevin Smith or Joss Whedon writing and directing a movie of my life. However, there isn’t enough in my life to make a comedy or a witty sci-fi or horror movie. Well, perhaps my disappointing sex life in college. That was definitely comedic. "Look at Spider crash and burn with another girl. . . Holy Shit! There goes a vampire!" It could work as a movie.

So here is my list of questions I would ask a potential roommate.

- Do you snore? If so, would we be able to hear it through your door?

-What is your primary source of news? (If they answer The New York Post, end interview right there.)

-Is your psycho boyfriend/girlfriend planning on spending an inordinate amount of time here? If so, and they piss me off, know that I will videotape you two having sex and make a profit with the tape on the internet.

-Toilet Paper? Over the top or from the bottom?

-After you Hiroshima the bathroom, what do you normally do?
a. Nothing
b. Announce to everyone to not go in for 15-20 minutes
c. Not worry because you lit a candle before hand, like you always do.
d. Blame it on the dog.

-We’re watching the game on Sunday, and you produce an SBD that could end a marriage. What do you do?
a. Nothing
b. Announce to everyone to hold their breath for 15-20 minutes
c. Candle is already lit, no worries.
d. Blame it on the dog.

-How annoying is your Mom? Just want to be forewarned for when she calls
visits.

-If the sky were to be another color other than sky blue, what would you make it?

-What song by Journey would you cover? (Sorry, that’s for the interview for
band mates. Shout out to Jaysen!)

-Favorite Band

-Top 5 Albums

-Favorite Disney or Warner Bros. Character

-What are your thoughts about Ann Coulter, Bill O’Reily, and Sean Hannity? (Anything other than, "Ann Coulter is the Whore of Babylon and Bill O’Reily and Sean Hannity are the worst things to come out of Long Island since Joey Buttofuco!" will result in the end of the interview.)

-Letterman or Leno?

-Coffee: Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts

-What is the meaning of life? (Ok, I don’t know about that one. I was just imitating Robert Fulghum there.)

See there is almost and infinite amount of questions one can ask. Be creative. Be odd. Find out what makes a person tick. You’re going to be living with them. Wouldn’t you want to know more than just their job, hours, and level of neatness?

Hopefully, my interview process will end soon and I can find a new place to live. Maybe I’ll get some interesting questions.