Life Metaphors Part 1: Getting Off the Roller Coaster

I hate shopping for birthday cards. I can never find one that says what I want it to say. Also, what made my search yesterday so tough is that I have known this friend for many years. How can I find the right card to encapsulate all that I feel for her? All the ups and downs we have ridden, and all the paths we have traveled. Kitchy words written by poets who couldn’t find work otherwise seem hollow.

I say the “ups and downs ridden and paths we’ve traveled” to talk about the difference in our life metaphors. Life metaphors are how we interpret the world we experience. (This is taken from the work of Anthony Robbins.) If you live with the metaphor that “Life is tough,” then you will experience life that way. If you hold the metaphor that “Life is a cabaret, ol’ chum,” then your experience will be totally different.

In a phone conversation, about a month ago, my friend stated that she believed in the “roller coaster of life and relationships” metaphor. Ok, so didn’t come out and say “I believe that life is a roller coaster.” But said that is what you do in a relationship, talking about the various ones she has had. You stay with that person through the repeated ups and downs of the repeated rides on that roller coaster, no matter how sick it made you. And then when that relationship ends you get on the next roller coaster in the park and take that one for the ride. You keep doing this because that is what life is about. She even used that metaphor describes our friendship. “We’ve stayed friends with each other through the ups and downs. It’s been a roller coaster ride through the years. Hasn’t it, Spider?”

I think I placated her by agreeing, and may have even said that I don’t think that the roller coaster metaphor is adequate enough. But I didn’t tell her the truth. That being that I got off the roller coaster years ago. I was sick off having to keep going on a track that I had no control off; sick of the same ups and downs. Sick of getting sick. "If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!" (Miles Davis) In other words, stop getting back on the roller coaster if you find yourself in a repeating pattern that isn't bringing you the happiness you want! Change your life metaphor. So I felt that the roller coaster as a metaphor really did not work for either life or relationships. Hell, I further decided to leave the amusement park metaphor altogether.

I got into my car and started driving on the highways of life. What is great about this metaphor is that I can choose the speed, direction and with whom I am traveling with. The view always changes so it is always keeps my interest. Also, I can always go visit my friend at the amusement park. She’ll come off the roller coaster for a bit to eat. We chat and have a good time. She goes back to the roller coaster and I head back to my car.

Is the highway of life metaphor perfect? No. There are some problems that I have had with it. You can’t predict the weather that you will drive through. Also, as you are heading down unfamiliar roads, you don’t know where and when rest-stops, gas stations and places to eat will be. So it takes a little preparation. Also, the biggest thing to pay attention to is that YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR CAR!

Many would say that when I came down with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and went into a deep depression I was in one of the down turns of life, much like a dip in the roller coaster. I would rather say that I let my car breakdown. I was not keeping my body healthy and if you let that happen parts won’t keep working right. Now Jeff Foxworthy would say that if your car breaks down in the South to not worry about it because a bunch of Rednecks in a pickup truck drinking a six-pack of beer will be along soon to pull you out of your ditch. That sort of happened with me as I found out how to treat myself from some amazing people. (www.aboutcts.com)

As I said, I don’t think the highway of life is perfect and I am searching for new life metaphors to help me through life. A recent metaphor that I have learned about and like comes from a lecture series by Dr. Wayne Dyer on the “Power of Intention.” He talks about being on a trolley car. And the strap that hangs down for you to hold onto is Source (God) energy. And you need to reach up and hold the strap and trust the Source to take you where you need to go on this trolley ride. People will get on the trolley to share the ride with you. Some will be their for the entire trip. Some people will come on, stay briefly, and then get off. Others get on, get off, get on, get off. . .you know, they keep returning like a turd that won’t flush. Again, trusting the Source that who shows up for the ride with you is there for a reason.

I like this metaphor. I am still not sure if it is the right one for me yet. Anthony Robbins writes in “Unleashing the Giant Within” about holding many types of metaphors, for there are different situations to which they apply, as being essential for success. I figure I will get into talking about that in Part 2. I just wanted to focus on some big global metaphors for this post. Looking at life’s metaphors will probably be a focus for the next month.

Also, I wanted to focus on how the roller coaster metaphor is really inadequate because I am going to visit that friend this weekend. I keep hoping that she will finally decide that she is sick of roller coasters and want to go for a drive through the countryside, or a trolley ride through the city. (It would make for some more interesting phone conversations.) But she has to decide her own metaphors like I do mine, and you with yours.

I am just glad that whatever metaphors you are living right now have allowed our lives to crossed.

Namaste.