Ladies, Things To Say That Will Endear You To Spider's Heart
Hello Ladies of Cyberland and Guy-friends who have sisters, cousins, friends who are single and looking for a good man,
Here is a list of things that you should say, or tell your lady-friends to say, to me that have gotten, or will definitely get, my attention. Some are actually things that have been said to me, others are. . .well, a geek can dream. So in no particular order:
-"I just love Einstein. We need a new Einstein these days."
-"Football? Eh!"
-"I love learning about quantum mechanics."
-"Jim, that burp you just did was child's play! Hold on, I'll beat that one!"
-"I'd really like to hear the music you hear in your head."
-"I love the movie "Labyrinth" too. Funny that you wanted to be David Bowie because he had that huge package and I wanted to be with him for the same reason."
-"Drummers are sexy, guitarists are sexier." (Hey, sometimes it's easy to stroke my ego.)
-"You know, I hate all those superficial people in NYC that read the all those celebrity magazines."
-"Oh, there's something I ought to tell you. . .I'm not left-handed either."
-"Just read 1984. That book is so what's going on in this country right now. People need to wake up!"
-"I love porn."
-"The Empire would so kick the Federation's ass!!"
-"Ok, I'll give you that Bush isn't the Devil. But Cheney has to be, or at least his agent. I'll be anything that man doesn't have a reflection."
-"There's no way you can beat me at Jeopardy or Trivia Pursuit! You're on!"
-"No way! I can't believe we've both watched "No Man's Land, Part 10." What a thing to have in common! Yeah, that scene with the Sybian machine freaked me out as well."
-"Jim, did you just see that license plate? It said "OB1KNOB." How cool is that!"
-"What's some new good music you can recommend to me?"
-"I love pizza!"
-"Dream Theater and Rush are my favorite bands, too!"
-"Hmm. . . .Earl Grey."
-". . .that's 'bout stupid as Greedo shooting first!"
-"Thanks for the offer, but I don't need your help to rewire my computer/entertainment system/electronic stuff. . .it's all built to my custom design."
posted by Spider @ 4:03 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Dude, WTF is with all these comments that are ads!!!
-Spider
P.S. J4UNC, oh yeah, I forgot about that one. Also thought of a few more.
"Clerks? That movie's classic! My favorite Kevin Smith movie is. . . "
"Oh, I hate those girls who are like Sex in City clones!"
"Spider, can we play/sing a song together?"
dude..
no football?
seriously?
but tailgating is so much fun!
Spider:
Earl Grey...Dream Theater...Rush...Queensryche...1984...anti-Bush...politically active in thought...you "intrigue" me - and I cannot stop thinking about you - I am "hooked" on an amazing artiste named Spider...:)
Always,
Miss Nicks (Your biggest fan)
Okay, get ready to have your day made.
-I heart Einstein.
-Football? Eh!
-Dude, that's not a burp. Here, listen to my 6-year-old.
-I adore Labyrinth, especially David Bowie's stretchpants.
-Guitarists ARE sexier. They spend all that time with a big phallic symbol propped between their legs.
-I hate superficial people. Though I do read celebrity magazines to get a good laugh.
-Dear god, I'm not left handed either! The luck!
-1984 kicks ass hard.
-Porn rules.
-The Empire WOULD kick the Federation's ass. C'mon, they have scuba boy! And the "Emperor". And guys in shiny white full-body armor. Vs. Farmboy and the Smuggler. Right.
-Devil's agents, all of them. Especially that Rove weasel.
-I'll kick your ass at Jeopardy AND Trivial Pursuit with a cold and a migraine and sleeping pills kicking in. I so totally rule at them.
-All right, I missed out on the No Man's Land thingy. I'm only human, after all.
-That is definitely an awesome one. I also saw "RMEFDKNS" a couple of months ago. You'll get it.
-I love people recommending music to me. Especially people who know music.
-Pizza kicks my ass. Mmm, pizza.
-I don't really have favorite bands, and I still miss out on this one.
-Chai
-I have some people I'd like to introduce to my little friend. The hard way.
ALSO-
The only Jay and Silent Bob movie I don't have is MallRats, because it's hard to get ahold of.
Sex in the City is awful. I don't know who was fascinated by a bunch of self-absorbed snotty neurotic women with no point to their lives.
Will you play a song with me? Because I have like no musical ability? (I can sing okay. I have verification.)
I had to answer, because I am bored. And these are so cool.
Madame D,
Loved your comment. Thank you!! Couple of responses. . .
- You are so on for Trivia Pursuit or Jeopardy!! We'll see who opens the can of whoop ass on whom!
-Still trying to figure out that license plate. I am sure that when I get it, I'll slap my head.
-Chai tea, particularly Vanilla Chai by Bigelow, is really good too.
-If you think porn rules, you'll enjoy No Man's Land Part 10 (if only for the Sybian scene). (Also, you'd probably enjoy the Sybian yourself.)
-I'd love to hear your 6 year old burp.
-I really enjoyed your comment, as I do your blog and what you post on Content Whore. Sounds like we'd have a fun time if we ever met.
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