There's a Head in the Head!!

Forgive Father for I have sinned,It has been 26 days since my last blog post. . . .

What’s the absolution for that sin? I don’t have a rosary so I can do Hail Marys. Oh well, I guess it’s a good thing that I am a recovering Catholic so I don’t have to worry about that.

I am sure that you have figured out that my lack of posting is a direct relationship to the amount of business and craziness in my life. I can not deny, though, that a good amount of my time is being eaten up spending time, in a very good way, with my girlfriend. As my aunt, who reads my blog, pointed out to me at a recent family get together. “I was reading your blog, Jim, and I noticed that you were posting less frequently. I said to myself there must be a woman in his life.”

So yes, that is probably news for some of my readers. She and I have been dating for awhile. I didn’t want to write about it, and still probably won’t, because I believe in keeping one’s love life out of one’s public life. Other than the fact that yes, I date, and yes, I currently have a girlfriend I am very happy with, I will never write much in detail my love life. I’ll talk in generalities about my interactions, both successful and miserable, with female species because I think gender issues and differences are a very interesting, and amusing topic to explore. If some of those generalities happen to also be shared by a particular female in my life, then I assure that it is totally coincidental and unintentional.

(And if you believe that, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.)

(Second side note: Honey, I swear I haven't posted anything about you!. . .yet.)

Ok, onto some funny random stuff. So I go to a barbecue of a mentor/former coworker of said girlfriend this Sunday out on Long Island. Nice day, good food. That’s not the funny random thing. It’s this woman’s bathroom. It is a small, closet sized bathroom from that just contains a toilet which faces the door. No sink, no tub, just a toilet. The random, and very disturbing, thing about this bathroom is that she has a head on the wall.

Yes, I did say “head.” And it’s holding a cigar. Below are the pictures I took with my camera phone.

Needless to say, this head weirded me out!! My girlfriend said it weirded her as well, but she figured it would be worse for a guy as he is standing there peeing. She’s correct on that one. It was almost as if he was looking right at my “you know what” in some quiet contemplation about its significance in the world. Now, in my ego, I’ll proudly proclaim the significance of my “you know what.” However, since I know there are 3 billion other ones in the world so I know it isn’t all that special.

My girlfriend said that it would be freakier if the eyes moved. I disagreed. I would some how rig the head to speak. Perhaps, it could be hooked up to a sensor on the door so that if you’re in there for an inordinate amount time it’d say, “You’ve been in here in awhile. Everything coming out alright?”

Or a sensor that can tell if someone is using the toilet while standing, in other words a man. Then the head can laugh and say, “Is that all you got?!”

With it’s pensive look, he could say, “Dear God!! Got a match?!. . . For my cigar, of course.”

Feel free to comment with your own creative comment. My girlfriend suggested that perhaps he could sing that line from the chorus to that Lynyrd Skynyrd song. Oh, you know which one I’m talking about.

“Ooh-ooh, That Smell!!”

(C'mon, like you didn't see that one coming!!)